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Spiritual Awareness => Relationships => Topic started by: Shannon on Jan 30, 2016 07:21 pm



Title: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Jan 30, 2016 07:21 pm
Yes, very true.   :) I wish to be light hearted - am here to play, to learn, to share and be inspired - to help where and when I can, to tackle heavy topics when others are interested as well, but not in a judgemental sense, etc.  At the same time I am experimenting with vulnerability - allowing more than just my happiest and strongest parts to be seen because to be fully genuine one must be okay with being vulnerable.  Vulnerability is an important human quality.  That is what I meant by it not serving me in the past -  sharing only the good, etc.  Does that make sense?  This recent separation with my husband has been eye opening.  I consciously chose  against my usual habit to share certain not-so-inspiring feelings with my friends and family, and was very touched by the outpouring of compassion.  I was not surprised, becuase compassion is of course what we all feel when others are in pain, but it was still difficult for me to do (you know how Scorpios can be!).  I am now trying to stretch that concept/habit further in daily life.  It's a process.  I would be interested to know if others have thought of 'vulnerability' as a concept - a useful, beautiful thing (or not) - but maybe I am going off topic.  What were we talking about?  Lol.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Jan 30, 2016 10:49 pm
Wonderful Shannon

i think you have a very good topic to start here. Although i must admit that i made it into a topic. We are very fortunate to have you with us even though it may be a difficult time for you. Thanks for getting involved and being a friend! Perhaps others can relate to your latest post above. If not---- I can! There are signals others give out that show they are not sensitive to your vulnerability. There can be coldness, aloofness, criticism, anger and actual abuse. When we experience these qualities coming from others we become aware that we can no longer be vulnerable with them. We must find another place to show child like openness.

It is true that the sign Scorpio is most often secretive. As you probably also know you have many other things happening in your chart. Mars and Uranus in Libra and the Moon in Sagittarius brings a whole different type of character! They just need a chance to be activated and Saturn transiting the seventh house in proximity to your Moon--this whole year--makes you look seriously at the way you have been handling relationships and what they now mean to you. It would be more difficult for you to be light hearted during this year because you are taking a deep look at your past and your emotions are coming to the surface for you to be more cognizant of. However at the same time you have Jupiter transiting your 5th house which is saying ' But i want to have fun . I  want to enjoy life and want to enjoy the time i have with my kids. i want to venture out and find new people to share creativity and the pleasures that come with life.' Sometimes life can be like this; A mixture of contrary emotions and energies. We could go deeper and deeper into the world of Shannon and what is happening. For instance the Mars transit in your sixth house is activating fears and inhibitions from the past for the short term.

You see though this is one of my vulnerabilities. i know i have something to offer but people often use me for it and sometimes even make fun of this entity called Steve. We all have this little kid in us that likes to express itself but often people cannot appreciate it.

But it is a mistake to over simplify the people and life we are experiencing. A person can be a little nutty at times. But often it is that very difference that attracts us to them. Maybe its not so nutty after all. Maybe there is something unusual happening here that i have something to learn from; that is a better attitude i have taken over the years. That is what i have found out about some people and situations. Shannon as you said; 'God is trying to expand our outlook.' It has happened to me many times..... we are stretching, stretching growing. We can look at our life and the people in it, much different as the years pass. Time, experience and the Master's guidance wears away at our preconceived ideas about ourselves and others -- and reveals to us the beauty of petals opening to the Sun's mighty power to awaken.



i can relate to what u mean when u say 'sharing the good and strong parts and how it has 'not always served u well in the past.' i remember Eric once told me that sometimes u can extend the hand of friendship and kindness to others and they can literally cut it off.

Sometimes though u find people that u would like to b light hearted with that u come to realize they do are not light hearted themselves and u have to take their intentions and feelings seriously. i think that is what u saw taking place at yoganandaji.org with someone u and i knew on the forum. What started out to be lightness, years of friendship and joking around ended up to b dead serious. Circumstances changed all that. Changes in relationships can also make dramatic changes in how people act towards one another. New people that come into their life may cause them to act quite different then they had before.

So u see u never know for sure the level of what u have triggered in someone else. It is good to stand back and say 'wow something i say or do may trigger past experiences in some one that were traumatic without me even knowing it. Or they may want something from me/you emotionally and as a friend, that i/you are unable to presently give to them. When they do not get it some can become easily vindictive. Suddenly you become the enemy and you can be accused and blamed for things that have never taken place or you have never done. It is not a general rule but we have to realize that mental illness is very prevalent in our culture and can and has manifested many times for many of us from other lost and weary souls living in their own private hell.

c'est bien vrai!


Yes, very true.   :) I wish to be light hearted - am here to play, to learn, to share and be inspired - to help where and when I can, to tackle heavy topics when others are interested as well, but not in a judgemental sense, etc.  At the same time I am experimenting with vulnerability - allowing more than just my happiest and strongest parts to be seen because to be fully genuine one must be okay with being vulnerable.  Vulnerability is an important human quality.  That is what I meant by it not serving me in the past -  sharing only the good, etc.  Does that make sense?  This recent separation with my husband has been eye opening.  I consciously chose  against my usual habit to share certain not-so-inspiring feelings with my friends and family, and was very touched by the outpouring of compassion.  I was not surprised, becuase compassion is of course what we all feel when others are in pain, but it was still difficult for me to do (you know how Scorpios can be!).  I am now trying to stretch that concept/habit further in daily life.  It's a process.  I would be interested to know if others have thought of 'vulnerability' as a concept - a useful, beautiful thing (or not) - but maybe I am going off topic.  What were we talking about?  Lol.



Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: mccoy on Feb 01, 2016 12:28 am
I agree with Steve that it's better to conceal our vulnerabilities in this often hostile world. Although sharing them may be helpful and constructive in the right context, like in these fora.

I sure have vulnerabilities, although I do not know what they are, lol. I like to focus on the soul's invincibility. Vulnerabilities are part of the satanic framework which keeps suggesting to us how limited we are.
 


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 01, 2016 03:55 am
Good points.  :)

Below is a link to a TED talk on the topic of vulnerability and how being vulnerable is actually a show of strength not weakness and frailty.  It is an interesring study.  The video is about 20 minutes.  It is the framework I had in mind when thinking about this topic.  McCoy, if you warch it, I'd love to know your thoughts e.g. if it influenced you to see vulnerability any differently.

http://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o

Steve, I am sorry you often feel used by people.  That sucks.  If the people around you don't appreciate what you have to offer, maybe it is better to change company and be around those who will.  Company or attitude!  Those are two changable things we can work with.  Everyone feels used sometimes.  I find I do if I don't take care of myself and sharpen the saw - consciously do things unrelated to servicing others that make me happy and bring energy in, to replenish what went out.   :)

P.S. Thank you for the breakdown of my planets.  It was nice of you to take the time/energy. It feels pretty accurate.  :)



Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 01, 2016 06:29 am
Good points.  :)

Below is a link to a TED talk on the topic of vulnerability and how being vulnerable is actually a show of strength not weakness and frailty.  It is an interesring study.  The video is about 20 minutes.  It is the framework I had in mind when thinking about this topic.  McCoy, if you warch it, I'd love to know your thoughts e.g. if it influenced you to see vulnerability any differently.

http://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o

Steve, I am sorry you often feel used by people.  That sucks.  If the people around you don't appreciate what you have to offer, maybe it is better to change company and be around those who will.  Company or attitude!  Those are two changable things we can work with.  Everyone feels used sometimes.  I find I do if I don't take care of myself and sharpen the saw - consciously do things unrelated to servicing others that make me happy and bring energy in, to replenish what went out.   :)

P.S. Thank you for the breakdown of my planets.  It was nice of you to take the time/energy. It feels pretty accurate.  :)

As attitude changes so does company! i have used people also but when they need something i tried to make sure i could give it to them. It is o.k. if people use us as long as people do not misuse us.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 01, 2016 05:25 pm
Very true!  And sometimes, people are like children - give an inch, we are taken a mile.  Children have no idea of reciprocity at first, and they constantly test the limits of what other people will do for them, or what they can 'get'.  As the parents, we have to set the boundaries.  The same is true with adults sometimes!  When I was in my twenties, I was very much a 'yes' girl and spent a lot of time doing things for other people that I didn't really want to do.  I mean, I WANTED to, but only to please them without considering the cost for me as far as time and energy, etc.  I felt used a lot, and blamed the people I felt were using me for not respecting me very much.  Then one weekend, while sitting at my sewing machine with a pile of VERY expensive fabric trying to sew curtains for a lady at work who asked me if I would, I thought, "What the heck am I doing?  I don't feel comfortable cutting this material.  I don't want to make these curtains.  Why doesn't she hire a professional?  She has plenty of money!"  I started getting upset and feeling taken advantage of then thought, "Wait, why did I agree to this?"  I took the material back to her the next Monday and said, "Sorry, but I don't feel comfortable doing this.  You should find someone else."  She was a little confused, but not really annoyed - took the material back and I was free of the burden.  After that I learned to say 'no' a lot more often from the get-go.  I realized people will not respect our space if we don't respect our space first by claiming it.  They don't do it to be disrespectful; it is childlike.  That was not the end of my people-pleasing personality by far.  In business, I always gave way more service than people paid for for instance.  That would sometimes end up badly because people didn't even realize I was working for 'free' and would get upset when I suddenly performed only what was reasonable instead of being superwoman.   But gradually over time I realized more and more we do no one favors if in performing an act of service if we eventually resent the person we are servicing.  Another realization was that sometimes we give 'gifts' to others through service, etc, but they have no clue we have done so.  That's fine if it is truly a gift and we expect no gratitude or recipritory action, but if we DO, we probably won't get what we want back because the person isn't even aware.  They didn't see it the same way.  Ever read the Five Languages of Love?  Fascinating stuff.  If you want someone to know you've done something loving for them, sometimes you have to spell it out in a 'language' they recognize.  We are all so different, and few can read minds.

Ayway, thank you for letting me ramble. I am trying to write three pages of whatever every day, for the practice.  I like to do some of that here, but if I am too verbose or not contributing in a helpful way, just let me know.   :)


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: SI on Feb 02, 2016 01:48 am
Children have no idea of reciprocity at first, and they constantly test the limits of what other people will do for them, or what they can 'get'.

You don't say.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 02, 2016 03:01 am

You don't say.

Lol. Just after my daughter was born, a lactation nurse in the hospital asked me if I had any experience with babies.  I told her this was the first newborn I had ever held.  She looked into my eyes with deadpan seriousness and said, "Well, you are at least aware that babies won't validate you, right?  I mean, they don't care a hoot about your needs."  Lol!  Yeah, buddy!  Ha ha.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: SI on Feb 02, 2016 04:12 am
Lol. Just after my daughter was born, a lactation nurse in the hospital asked me if I had any experience with babies.

When my daughter was born, after an initial sort of the nurses trying to conceal what was happening, since she was not crying, about 1 minute later she "woke up". She was apparently asleep.



Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 02, 2016 03:55 pm
Very true!  And sometimes, people are like children - give an inch, we are taken a mile.  Children have no idea of reciprocity at first, and they constantly test the limits of what other people will do for them, or what they can 'get'.  As the parents, we have to set the boundaries.  The same is true with adults sometimes!  When I was in my twenties, I was very much a 'yes' girl and spent a lot of time doing things for other people that I didn't really want to do.  I mean, I WANTED to, but only to please them without considering the cost for me as far as time and energy, etc.  I felt used a lot, and blamed the people I felt were using me for not respecting me very much.  Then one weekend, while sitting at my sewing machine with a pile of VERY expensive fabric trying to sew curtains for a lady at work who asked me if I would, I thought, "What the heck am I doing?  I don't feel comfortable cutting this material.  I don't want to make these curtains.  Why doesn't she hire a professional?  She has plenty of money!"  I started getting upset and feeling taken advantage of then thought, "Wait, why did I agree to this?"  I took the material back to her the next Monday and said, "Sorry, but I don't feel comfortable doing this.  You should find someone else."  She was a little confused, but not really annoyed - took the material back and I was free of the burden.  After that I learned to say 'no' a lot more often from the get-go.  I realized people will not respect our space if we don't respect our space first by claiming it.  They don't do it to be disrespectful; it is childlike.  That was not the end of my people-pleasing personality by far.  In business, I always gave way more service than people paid for for instance.  That would sometimes end up badly because people didn't even realize I was working for 'free' and would get upset when I suddenly performed only what was reasonable instead of being superwoman.   But gradually over time I realized more and more we do no one favors if in performing an act of service if we eventually resent the person we are servicing.  Another realization was that sometimes we give 'gifts' to others through service, etc, but they have no clue we have done so.  That's fine if it is truly a gift and we expect no gratitude or recipritory action, but if we DO, we probably won't get what we want back because the person isn't even aware.  They didn't see it the same way.  Ever read the Five Languages of Love?  Fascinating stuff.  If you want someone to know you've done something loving for them, sometimes you have to spell it out in a 'language' they recognize.  We are all so different, and few can read minds.

Ayway, thank you for letting me ramble. I am trying to write three pages of whatever every day, for the practice.  I like to do some of that here, but if I am too verbose or not contributing in a helpful way, just let me know.   :)

Thanks shannon liegh

i have had that experience in communication. For instance; some people will spend hours talking with u on the phone but if u ask them if they will spend some time on a forum. They say: "i dont do the forum thing." or they would like u to be on their wall at facebook.  It  seems like reciprocity isn't such a big thing to ask for but  i am actually loosing the closeness of some friends because they simply see no reason that they just cant have it their way. i also am gaining some friends because i have 'spelled it out.'


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 02, 2016 04:27 pm
Ah!  Does that mean you value the form of communication more than the communication itself?


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 02, 2016 05:11 pm
Ah!  Does that mean you value the form of communication more than the communication itself?

It simply means that sharing interests is a part of life. When people can not they loose the abilty to  coexist in meaningful relationships and confine themselves to limiting their ability for spiritual companionship and communication.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 02, 2016 06:24 pm
Hmmm.  Steve, I suspect this board is important to you and you'd like to see it grow.

Do you nterpret people posting here as being supportive of your interests, which equates to friendship?

Please know that I am not challenging what you've said or how you think -  not at all!

Am just trying to understand - because someone preferring the phone vs online chatting isn't at ALL the same thing as someone asking me to make draperies for free.   lol

For me, e-mail vs. telephone is not an 'interest' - it's a form of communication, a channel - tools.  But if what I've said above is true, then I think I grasp what you mean.

 ;D








Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 02, 2016 07:23 pm
Hmmm.  Steve, I suspect this board is important to you and you'd like to see it grow.

Do you nterpret people posting here as being supportive of your interests, which equates to friendship?

Please know that I am not challenging what you've said or how you think -  not at all!

Am just trying to understand - because someone preferring the phone vs online chatting isn't at ALL the same thing as someone asking me to make draperies for free.   lol

For me, e-mail vs. telephone is not an 'interest' - it's a form of communication, a channel - tools.  But if what I've said above is true, then I think I grasp what you mean.

 ;D


i believe u also would like to see  yoganandaji.org grow. That is one of the important reasons i frequent it. What is important to you is important to me. This is the strength that makes people come together. People do  not just give of their material service but also of their mental service and talents. In this way it is very similar to asking for favors like sewing.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: SI on Feb 02, 2016 07:56 pm
It's possible that some folks are only comfortable communicating in a few ways.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 02, 2016 08:14 pm
Ah!  This makes sense. Thank you.

By the way, your assumption about what is important to me is incorrect.  I am not at all interested in growing Yoganandaji - stopped accepting new Members well over a year ago.  :)

p.s. Came back to clarify; the existing community is important to me, but not growth at this time.  It cannot sustain getting much larger - have been trying to resolve various technicalities for awhile now, and am currently in limbo with it.  :)


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: mccoy on Feb 02, 2016 11:27 pm
Good points.  :)
Below is a link to a TED talk on the topic of vulnerability and how being vulnerable is actually a show of strength not weakness and frailty.  It is an interesring study.  The video is about 20 minutes.  It is the framework I had in mind when thinking about this topic.  McCoy, if you warch it, I'd love to know your thoughts e.g. if it influenced you to see vulnerability any differently.

Shannon, I had to get back and look up the definition since the talk at first tended to confound me, the subject was approached not directly at first. Vulnerability, from latin vulnus= wound, in Brene Brown's talk is equated to weakness, uncertainty, fear, insecurity. I would say the show of strenght lies not in being vulnerable, it lies in not being too much concerned about your vulnerabilities.
Concern may create tension and unnatural behaviour which is eventually detrimental to achievements. I believe the bottom line in the talk is that one.

With the above premises, I can say I do have weaknesses and I nurture uncertainties but I do not much mind them, or at least try not to mind them.

My final answer to Shannon is that, in the TED talk context, recognizing a vulnerability and trying your best just the same is sure a show of strenght or at least of imperturbability.

I do not rule out conquering or controlling the vulnerabilities though, or just not aknowledging them. Mere numbing is negative, whereas reasoned evaluation and remediation if possible is positive


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 03, 2016 12:58 am
:
Ah!  This makes sense. Thank you.

By the way, your assumption about what is important to me is incorrect.  I am not at all interested in growing Yoganandaji - stopped accepting new Members well over a year ago.  :)

p.s. Came back to clarify; the existing community is important to me, but not growth at this time.  It cannot sustain getting much larger - have been trying to resolve various technicalities for awhile now, and am currently in limbo with it.  :)

It appears somethings really do work out but not as we expect them too.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 03, 2016 05:33 pm
I am sorry Steve, I don't understand what you mean by your last comment in the context of the conversation.    :)  ???


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 03, 2016 06:18 pm
I am sorry Steve, I don't understand what you mean by your last comment in the context of the conversation.    :)  ???

There are many  ways to grow. Getting larger, expanding and more importantly spiritual growth. There is so much to learn about each other. Who would suspect we would b here talking communicating and enjoying time together hehehe not me. i hope to b grateful for these blessings. How could i ever b correct and think i know someone? I am so fascinated with u and others here....so i try... try to understand...but it takes someone like u and our friends to remind us we still have much to
understand. Will u help?


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 04, 2016 01:29 am
Thanks Steve.  See, communication like this helps me to understand better, too. 

I am no expert, but it seems to me one of the main reasons we come to this beautiful planet is to understand ourselves better.  "Know thyself." It's one of the prime directives from God! To do this, we need contrast - other people; not so they can pass us their knowledge, but so we may learn who we are (and who we wish to become) for ourselves by way of contrast - through observation and comprehension.  Growth.  It has to come from deep inside - not outside.  By getting to know each other over time, we learn more about the other - but the real prize is we may see parts of ourselves we could not before. That is the beauty of relationships.  We are crystals shining God's light and love, but we are also mirrors reflecting the best and worst parts of those who observe us - and they reflect ours.  Does that make sense?  In this way, yeah - I am helping!  I help just by existing, getting out of bed each day - showing up - speaking up sometimes.  You are helping in this way, too.  That is oversimplifying, but sometimes you have to break things down to the tiniest thing to grasp what is really true and what is just window dressing.  So, when one sees relationships in this light - it isn't so much about e-mail vs the phone, or growing an internet community, or who gives  and who takes exactly what and when and why and what it all means and if it is perfectly balanced, etc.  I mean, those things are important - but it's more about the connection and vision.  If we can only connect with people who do very specific things, or who think in very specific ways, then we know we need to grow.  I suspect you are an open minded person.  I am, too.  We have that in common.  But there are oceans of differences beyond that.  If we can struggle through communication, we might grow.  As I've said before, only God can really know a person; but the rest of us can learn a lot from each other by accepting the fact that we don't know much. Lol. Also, asking questions and listening helps.  Being clear.  Okay, did any of that make sense?  Sorry it is so long - I had not the time to make it short. Finally, as I said, I am no expert.  This is where I am at currently in my thought process, all of it subject to change and/or totally erroneous.  Peace to you.  You have done a lovely thing by creating this space for people to come and share. You can be proud of it.  :)


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: SI on Feb 04, 2016 04:04 am
Now that's what I call communication   :D

If I typed that much my fingers would fall off.

Maybe if you added bullet points it would be easier to read too  :'(


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 04, 2016 01:49 pm
Lol SI!  Will keep that in mind next time!  :)


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 04, 2016 06:00 pm
u
Thanks Steve.  See, communication like this helps me to understand better, too. 

I am no expert, but it seems to me one of the main reasons we come to this beautiful planet is to understand ourselves better.  "Know thyself." It's one of the prime directives from God! To do this, we need contrast - other people; not so they can pass us their knowledge, but so we may learn who we are (and who we wish to become) for ourselves by way of contrast - through observation and comprehension.  Growth.  It has to come from deep inside - not outside.  By getting to know each other over time, we learn more about the other - but the real prize is we may see parts of ourselves we could not before. That is the beauty of relationships.  We are crystals shining God's light and love, but we are also mirrors reflecting the best and worst parts of those who observe us - and they reflect ours.  Does that make sense?  In this way, yeah - I am helping!  I help just by existing, getting out of bed each day - showing up - speaking up sometimes.  You are helping in this way, too.  That is oversimplifying, but sometimes you have to break things down to the tiniest thing to grasp what is really true and what is just window dressing.  So, when one sees relationships in this light - it isn't so much about e-mail vs the phone, or growing an internet community, or who gives  and who takes exactly what and when and why and what it all means and if it is perfectly balanced, etc.  I mean, those things are important - but it's more about the connection and vision.  If we can only connect with people who do very specific things, or who think in very specific ways, then we know we need to grow.  I suspect you are an open minded person.  I am, too.  We have that in common.  But there are oceans of differences beyond that.  If we can struggle through communication, we might grow.  As I've said before, only God can really know a person; but the rest of us can learn a lot from each other by accepting the fact that we don't know much. Lol. Also, asking questions and listening helps.  Being clear.  Okay, did any of that make sense?  Sorry it is so long - I had not the time to make it short. Finally, as I said, I am no expert.  This is where I am at currently in my thought process, all of it subject to change and/or totally erroneous.  Peace to you.  You have done a lovely thing by creating this space for people to come and share. You can be proud of it.  :)

Hello dear one

U have left quite a bit to ponder here. No specific questions though. Wouldnt u think that i concur with u for the most part?
The way u do things makes sense for u. I accept that. U have to allow people the ability to grow and meet others according to their own ways and time. The tragedy i have seen is this; many times i have seen important people in our lives make their transition.  Its somewhat like the song:

Every Thing I Own

You sheltered me from harm
Kept me warm, kept me warm
You gave my life to me
Set me free, set me free
The finest years I ever knew,
Were all the years I had with you

And I would give anything I own
I'd give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again

You taught me how to love
What it's of, what it's of
You never said too much,
But still you showed the way
And I knew from watching you

Nobody else could ever know,
The part of me that can't let go

And I would give anything I own,
I'd give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again

Is there someone you know,
Your loving them so,
But taking them all for granted?
You may lose them one day
Someone takes them away,
And they don't hear the words you long to say

I would give anything I own,
I'd give up my life, my heart, my home
I would give everything I own,
Just to have you back again;
Just to touch you once again
Songwriters: DAVID GATES

When people our gone there will b no more parting words. No more... I Love You. No more...i didnt realize how much u meant to me. No more sharing memories. No more reaching out and telling someone u cared. Only memories...... Only...... memories. Our lips will b sealed. That someone that takes us away is the greatest lover of all: GOD


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 05, 2016 06:41 pm
Thanks Steve.  See, communication like this helps me to understand better, too. 

 I suspect you are an open minded person.  I am, too.  We have that in common.  But there are oceans of differences beyond that.  If we can struggle through communication, we might grow. 

i wonder if u would b able to elaborate on this. No doubt u are seeing much more then myself.   i have more understanding of my self and little knowledge of u. We have had many conversations on the internet over the years but none on the phone or in person.... But "oceans of differences."? Hmmm Didnt know u felt that way..... i thought there was a pond of alikeness ha ha!


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 06, 2016 02:02 am
Hi Steve.  Didn't mean anything profound.  Sometimes when you speak I don't understand what you are saying - or why - like the song about death and loss in this thread, for instance.  Haven't got a clue why you posted that.  Lol.  Kind of a choppy vibe coming through - pretty often, actually - but even a pond has ripples from time to time. No matter. I'm still here.      :)


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 06, 2016 02:24 am
Hi Steve.  Didn't mean anything profound.  Sometimes when you speak I don't understand what you are saying - or why - like the song about death and loss in this thread, for instance.  Haven't got a clue why you posted that.  Lol.  Kind of a choppy vibe coming through - pretty often, actually - but even a pond has ripples from time to time. No matter. I'm still here.      :)

Is that y u say we r oceans apart? Because u do not understand my replies? I really do not see any tidawaves. R u looking for a placid sea?  :'(

i actually cried when i wrote that last reply. Do u know the poem was about his father? I do not believe most people recognize the importance of people and events in their life. U turn around and somebody u loved is gone.  i think we should b more vulnerable. I do not know what it would b like without u around. I feel similar feelings towards others here. Is that  clearer?


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 07, 2016 02:34 am
Hi Steve.  Didn't mean anything profound.  Sometimes when you speak I don't understand what you are saying - or why - like the song about death and loss in this thread, for instance.  Haven't got a clue why you posted that.  Lol.  Kind of a choppy vibe coming through - pretty often, actually - but even a pond has ripples from time to time. No matter. I'm still here.      :)

U may also wonder about my observation of this post but i am answering the hidden messages that i see coming from it. What is behind the words. We can go only so far with our communication with others then we realize we have reached an impasses. A place in the road where it gets much more difficult to traverse. This is because we meet with the fears and the past conditioning events that happened with other people that make it difficult for them to open up any further. But that is O.K. We need to respect the difficulties that others face in regards to their personal correspondence with others and their former relationships. However it is important to recognize that every situation ... every person... every event is different then the ones we have had in the past. Often we bring our baggage with us when we meet new circumstances..

i remember Amma once telling a story of a man in a railroad car who was walking back and forth with his suitcase. He was asked why he was doing that. He explained 'Because i want to get where i need to go.' We are all like that to some extent. We put out this extra energy when all along the train is taking us to our destination; God is taking us where we need to go. We just have to trust that he is.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 07, 2016 02:40 am
Steve, you seem to be a highly sensitive and emotional person. Is that so?  Do you often find yourself having strong attachments towards others - people you don't really know, or in general?  If so, do you think that is because you are spiritually evolved?  I wrote 'oceans apart' because it is a vibe I get - somehow linked to communication styles. I never mentioned tidal waves. That came from elsewhere. If I were looking for a placid sea, I'd be floating in one!  Ha ha.  Outer life is messier than inner life.  Life is school.  Are you familiar with Gestalt's Prayer?  I first read it when I was a child.  Although I felt drawn to the gist, I never fully embraced it - because  it feels somehow apathetic.

I try to see people's unique beauty - truly.  Have lost friends and family and understand how we always see MORE how special each person was after they are dead.  Not just special to US, but really unique. I was trying to explain this to my husband a month or so ago.  I told him that whenever I really need to SEE people, I imagine them dead.  It's a pretty clarifying and positive habit, I think.  He thought I was being negative and morbid at the time, but I think he is starting to 'get it' a little.  He is a taurus.  Very earthy.

If you see something special in me, I thank you.  It is nice to feel recognized sometimes.  I see something special in you, too - in all people - and am still here.   :)

P.s. It seems we posted near the same time. I will go back and read your most recent post (above this) now.




Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 07, 2016 02:49 am
Ah, okay.  You needn't worry about hidden messages with me,  there aren't any.  I mean, I like to be mysterious and symbolic in poetry, but for every day interaction I try to be pretty plain and direct. I often feel you have some kind of hidden meaning in your posts, but do my best to ignore that - because chances are whatever it is I think I hear is coming from my mind, not yours.

I don't think I have any more baggage than you do! Lol. And I am fairly aware. Thanks for the reminder, though.   :)


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 07, 2016 03:11 am

I don't think I have any more baggage than you do! Lol. And I am fairly aware. Thanks for the reminder, though.   :)

i have been working on my baggage for sometime now. It needs to get much lighter! Remember this: i am the one that heard the story. These things we need stick in our memory for a reason.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Shannon on Feb 07, 2016 03:14 am
Lol.  Baggage is a funny word - it's the things we carry with us.  Everyone wants to travel light, but sometimes there is some good stuff in those bags! The trick is to leave behind that which no longer serves us.  Sometimes it is difficult to know what is what, but I think the good stuff feels lighter than the rest. It's a good clue.  :)


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 07, 2016 04:58 am
Steve, you seem to be a highly sensitive and emotional person. Is that so?  Do you often find yourself having strong attachments towards others - people you don't really know, or in general?  If so, do you think that is because you are spiritually evolved?  I wrote 'oceans apart' because it is a vibe I get - somehow linked to communication styles. I never mentioned tidal waves. That came from elsewhere. If I were looking for a placid sea, I'd be floating in one!  Ha ha.  Outer life is messier than inner life.  Life is school.  Are you familiar with Gestalt's Prayer?  I first read it when I was a child.  Although I felt drawn to the gist, I never fully embraced it - because  it feels somehow apathetic.

I try to see people's unique beauty - truly.  Have lost friends and family and understand how we always see MORE how special each person was after they are dead.  Not just special to US, but really unique. I was trying to explain this to my husband a month or so ago.  I told him that whenever I really need to SEE people, I imagine them dead.  It's a pretty clarifying and positive habit, I think.  He thought I was being negative and morbid at the time, but I think he is starting to 'get it' a little.  He is a taurus.  Very earthy.

If you see something special in me, I thank you.  It is nice to feel recognized sometimes.  I see something special in you, too - in all people - and am still here.   :)

P.s. It seems we posted near the same time. I will go back and read your most recent post (above this) now.


Strong attachments to people i do not know.... i don't think so. U are not someone i do not know. U have always been familiar. i believe we have a lot evolvement going on here. There is a common effort to want to get to know one another better. Not attachment. So y would u ask if i have strong attachments to people i do not know? Why speak of this entity called Steve? He is just a energy in the force with all of u. Sensitive? i hope so. i would like to b sensitive towards others. Emotional? About somethings that i feel strongly about> Yes  Are attachment and spiritual evolvement being synonymous. i don't think so. Being kind to others and thinking of them...that is being spiritually evolved.

U may get that vibe--- oceans apart -- it is o.k. It is O.K. everything is o.k. our communication is one dimensional here. That is o.k. too --- If that is the way u like it.

U r not negative and morbid. Your husband does not understand. He is not ready. Soon we will all b gone. One by one. There is nothing to hang on to. Nothing will b left here Shannon. We can only enjoy now. What we have. What i have with u as we speak. It is all there is --- now. It is sufficient.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Yoda on Feb 07, 2016 09:41 am


If you see something special in me, I thank you.  It is nice to feel recognized sometimes.  I see something special in you, too - in all people - and am still here.   :)

Through the Force, things you will see. Other places. The future...the past. Old friends long gone.


Title: Re: Vulnerability
Post by: Steve Hydonus on Feb 14, 2016 01:18 pm
Thanks Steve.  See, communication like this helps me to understand better, too. 

I am no expert, but it seems to me one of the main reasons we come to this beautiful planet is to understand ourselves better.  "Know thyself." It's one of the prime directives from God! To do this, we need contrast - other people; not so they can pass us their knowledge, but so we may learn who we are (and who we wish to become) for ourselves by way of contrast - through observation and comprehension.  Growth.  It has to come from deep inside - not outside.  By getting to know each other over time, we learn more about the other - but the real prize is we may see parts of ourselves we could not before. That is the beauty of relationships.  We are crystals shining God's light and love, but we are also mirrors reflecting the best and worst parts of those who observe us - and they reflect ours.  Does that make sense?  In this way, yeah - I am helping!  I help just by existing, getting out of bed each day - showing up - speaking up sometimes.  You are helping in this way, too.  That is oversimplifying, but sometimes you have to break things down to the tiniest thing to grasp what is really true and what is just window dressing.  So, when one sees relationships in this light - it isn't so much about e-mail vs the phone, or growing an internet community, or who gives  and who takes exactly what and when and why and what it all means and if it is perfectly balanced, etc.  I mean, those things are important - but it's more about the connection and vision.  If we can only connect with people who do very specific things, or who think in very specific ways, then we know we need to grow.  I suspect you are an open minded person.  I am, too.  We have that in common.  But there are oceans of differences beyond that.  If we can struggle through communication, we might grow.  As I've said before, only God can really know a person; but the rest of us can learn a lot from each other by accepting the fact that we don't know much. Lol. Also, asking questions and listening helps.  Being clear.  Okay, did any of that make sense?  Sorry it is so long - I had not the time to make it short. Finally, as I said, I am no expert.  This is where I am at currently in my thought process, all of it subject to change and/or totally erroneous.  Peace to you.  You have done a lovely thing by creating this space for people to come and share. You can be proud of it.  :)

Thank You

Really liked your reply! Yes it does make sense. In this post u mentioned that it helps to ask questions so here goes:  Is  everything o.k.?