Spiritual Portal

Commentary by Yogananda....

"The devotee says to his inner soul-guide:

   'Because of love for my indwelling, clashing, good and bad habits, I am reluctant to kill my kinsmen of the senses who have dwelt so long in my bodily kingdom! My limbs of will-power-to-exercise-self-control are failing me, and my mouth of spiritual intuition is dry. I am quivering with mental nervousness. My energies and thoughts shoot towards the senses. The sacred bow of self-control and of spinal perceptions is slipping away, and my mental skin(covering my consciousness) is burning with restlessness. O Soul, destroyer of evil, I cannot keep my mental balance. My mind wanders as I face the enemy-senses in meditation. I feel a premonition of impending disaster.'

This is a true description of the state experienced by devotees after they have traveled some distance on the spiritual path. The beginner yogi, in the initial stages of soul contact, is eager, happy, satisfied. With further progress, he finds that the sense desires are diehard inmates of his life; he begins to wonder, even in the midst of divine realizations, if he has been wise in his decision to kill material joys for the sake of gaining spiritual happiness. In such confusion, the devotee tries to split his allegiance- giving half of his attention to the body and its sense enjoyments and half to the inner assembly of soul joys. The result of these half-measures is that the devotee's limbs of will power become paralyzed by the disease of latent sense attachment. He feels a dying-away of the finer intuitive spiritual perceptions, the taste for material habits, like a fire, dries up the taste for the subtle spiritual perceptions.

.....

In this pitiable state of momentary bleakness, the devotee must cast away all feelings of doubt and despair and have faith that after the field of consciousness has been well sown with the seeds of deep meditation, they will produce the mystic trees of Omnipresence, bearing fruits of undying happiness.

It is not the long-established sense "upstarts" in the bodily kingdom that the devotee owes his loyalty, but to the long-banished soul perceptions."

Interesting notes,
Krishna is referred to as ones inner-guide.

I find this battle takes place outside meditation as well.

Many times it seems more appropriate to me to let the sense desires come out rather than constantly suppressing them and letting them surface in awkward and socially unacceptable ways. Not sure how the Master would respond to this; perhaps it’s best to pray and seek guidance. Because we seldom know what’s best for us. In the meantime back to the kriya’s practicing the presence and cultivating a spiritual climate around us. God has a way of sheltering his devotees who are committed to enlightenment and sincere in their efforts despite their desires that work against their spiritual resolutions.

Thanks Steve, that is a nice thought about God sheltering his devotees.

Kind regards.

Hey, awkward according to who? According to the cool kid mentality, the youth and the elderly, I'm about as awkward as it gets.  :D I guess I have nothing to worry about.

According to laws created by our present legal system and social milieu.