It is not unusual to find yourself feeling chaotic in the kundalini process, and to find those who advise you giving guidance that only makes things worse. As you describe what is happening to you energetically, emotionally, and psychically most people can only apply their personal paradigm – a perspective based on their own experience or reading about someone else. They may try to fit you into a personal theory as positive as being influenced by divine intervention, or as threatening as demonic and discarnate entities. They might project that your experiences are due to mental illness or past mistakes, or tell you to become a follower of someone who will take control of your life. They may prescribe medication, offer “clearings”, or suggest practices that intensify the energy.
Even when well-intended, some people will have a perspective that is more frightening than healing. You must learn to stand in your own authority, listening to your own Truth, choosing how to care for yourself in the way most congruent for your unique needs.
Unfortunately the awakening of kundalini energy is still uncommon enough that there is no western paradigm to describe it, and the eastern science of it is complex and obscure, and usually poorly interpreted by those who have not lived through it.
It is not well understood that this process may occur spontaneously, outside of a spiritual practice or tradition, as well as erupt in a chaotic way even in the best of circumstances in an ashram or spiritual community.
...It is important to find your own wisdom and guidance, tuning in to the energy itself, listening to the body and what it seems to need from day to day, slowing down and exploring what is authentic for you. This may change from day to day. There may be days when you find yourself weeping or reliving old memories. There may be days when the body feels open and blissful and all you care to do is dance and listen to inspiring music. There may be moments when rushes of heat overwhelm you, and other moments when you love everyone in the world. World news can cause despair, and yet you may weep for joy at the sight of a sunset. You may have no interest in food or sex for a few weeks, then a sudden voracious appetite. You will likely feel out of control at times. But hopefully there will be a small voice deep inside that reminds you on occasion that all will be okay. You are only in a process of opening and change.
Full essay here,
http://www.kundaliniguide.com/kundalini-chaos-and-completion