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Bhaktananda; Negative Emotions and Marriage

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Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?
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« on: Jan 07, 2012 07:25 pm »

BB 44 Negative Emotions February 1988

On a blank paper draw a line down the middle.

On the left side of the line make a list of the negative emotions you have. It may be a long list! Include, worry, hatred, discouragement, resentment, depression etc.

On the right side put the positive emotion that is the solution.  For example, love, friendship, reason.

The tip of the iceberg – the negative emotions we recognize.

Make a 3x5 card with one negative emotion and the solution. Concentrate only on the solution. Do this five times a day. You don’t have to do this all day long. Just five times.

We have a lot more negative emotions than we realize. Like icebergs.

On your 3X5 card include a word or a phrase to help you: mental organization, love, the new habit I want to establish.

Marriage  8/5/80

Marriage – a way to learn to get along with others. You don’t learn this in the single life unless you apply yourself spiritually.

Today marriage is like giving a violin concert while learning to play.

In the golden age, marriage was at 24 years, fully trained by masters.

Today training is lacking. 

To be happy, strive to be mature, balanced. Know how and when to act and react. Don’t be too sensitive. Most marriages cave in quickly – usually for very simple obvious things.

In married life it is very important to have a sense of humor. Most marriages consist of children and troubles.

Love is not the most important thing after marriage.  Friendship is. This means:

•   Respect
•   Caring
•   Kindness
•   Over-looking faults
•   Forgiveness

Love will be automatic when you do this. Romantic love is emotion – lots of people have this.

Treat your partner as though you were not married.

Proper behavior = improve yourself. Willingness to learn your faults and change, and be able to talk about one’s faults.

No one is perfect. You must expect your partner to be mature at times, and a child at times.

There should be no nagging. Give your partner time to change.

You must also be like a punching bag at times. Just take anger.

Get at the problem, not the partner. Ask:

What has to be done?

There should never be any criticism, swearing, name calling, sarcasm.

If one partner flirts making the other jealous  -- this is a misuse of the imagination, usually. Jealousy means you feel inadequate.

Master: “I don’t think anyone should get married until they have ironed out their emotions”

Possessiveness – caused by misuse of the imagination.

Instead of arguing there should be quiet discussion.

Approach everything in marriage with patience.

Unsolvable problem? Ask help. Minister, counselor, trusted friend and then accept the advice. You’ll find things change for the better.

Don’t reveal a bad past, especially if you feel guilty about the past and think “maybe I’ll feel better telling my partner.” DON’T.  Keep your skeletons in your closet.

Sure, you feel good after harboring it all these years, to get it off your chest. But how does your partner feel? Many are divorced for this cause.

Get rid of skeletons by talking with a Minister.

Many divorces are caused by small living quarters. If you have a small space:

Schedule small periods of seclusion – one half hour or one hour, for each partner during the day. This is essential.
Master said each partner should have a room.
There could be a bedroom and husband could have a den.  A place to recuperate, retreat, privacy.
 
Master said it is dangerous to live in small quarters, married.

Romance – should romance end at some time in marriage? No.

Love and affection are required. Especially women need it.

Brother Bhaktananda says: “Most marriages – the most common complaint, is that the man is not affectionate.”

Men don’t have the same deep feeling as women. They must learn this “to be in good graces”.  Some men never compliment their wives. People want to be told “I love you”. We are all children in this way.

Men: Every Friday or payday buy a rose for her.

In marriage you have to give, give and give. A LOT. But it won’t just pop into the mind, what to do. You must think about how to help.

Overindulgence in sex – you are depending on sex to make you happy. A cause, a main cause for divorce. It causes less love, less respect.

Ghandi – he and his wife gave up sex. They both agreed to it. When he walked into his home, he said that he felt great peace. Overindulgence in sex is wrong. Depending on it for happiness is wrong.

Ghandi knew that Yogananda taught that after you have kids, give up sex, or greatly reduce it.

Master knew human nature. Moderation is better than celibacy. About once a month at age 50 – Master said this. He was always right.

Who are soul mates? Those who have had past lives together. They come together and harmonize easily, even if they are immature.

Spiritual Living – home should be a hermitage. Should have an altar. Even with occasional indulgences in sex, the home – with spiritual living – can be full of velvet peace. You feel this as you walk in the door.

There is one divorce in 500 marriages when there is a daily five-minute devotional husband and wife together.

Divine Marriage = with God. Our human marriage is symbolic of this.  This is why we seek a partner. We do learn how to behave and get closer to God in marriage. But both partners should meditate and seek God.

In the astral realm – there is no marriage or sex. There are children – yes. But from will.

Brother Bhaktananda drew a large circle about 14 inches diameter. In the bottom part of the circle he wrote the word GURU and circled that word. Above the word GURU, still in the large circle, he wrote the word GOD. Then he drew two lines coming out of the word GURU, one to the word HUSBAND and the other line to the word WIFE. A triangle was thus formed – husband, wife, Guru/God. “Still we must go through the Guru”. Brother spoke about marriage being a triangle, not just two people, as most think.

 



 


« Last Edit: Jan 07, 2012 08:33 pm by **steve ~ hydonus** » Report Spam   Logged

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