Apologize

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

I Apologize

Have u ever noticed how hard it is to apologize for some of us? Maybe it would help to apologize because another person wants to b right. It does not mean they r. It just means that u will give them the benefit of the doubt.

i had a very interesting thing happen today while driving. In Los Angeles people rush ahead and 'push' their way in when they r merging on the free way. Some one was rushing ahead this time and they moved towards my lane on the side of me. So i said to myself 'go for it' i maintained my position and they actually hit the side of my car.

The lady got out and said; 'you hit my car' i said 'listen you came in from the side and tried to push your way in'. She said but I was merging so you should have let me in. i said listen if you want to call the police u can but you r going to get a ticket. She said well you won't even apologize. I said if that is what you want i will; ' i apologize' and that was that. She took off. So you see u can save yourself a lot of trouble by apologizing. It does not even always even matter if the other person is rite or wrong. Sometimes people need to feel rite. So i figure let them b rite. So i would rather apologize if it is really conducive to harmony.

Let me show u how easy it is. Elfun i apologize for being messy at your house. Yoshi i apologize for using a characterization that might have been inappropriate. Eric i apologize if my responses at sometime were inflammatory. Nitewish i apologize if i said something that was embarrassing or posted something of that nature. Serena i apologize for not keeping in touch with u. Now it does not seem that hard to me? i wonder what u think?

Jitendra

[noitall]

I agree. To apologize to someone is being humble and shows character. It sounds like you may have had the option to allow this person to merge into your lane. If you had not seen the other vehicle it would be understandable that there may be a collision. But it seems like you originally observed the other vehicle and anticipated her moving into your lane and at that moment is when you had the option to slow down and allow her into your lane or not. This woman should have not merged into your lane by basically forcing her way into your lane that i agree, was wrong on her part. I believe state laws read that the person merging into traffic lanes is the person that is the responsible party for merging into the traffic lanes incl. on/off ramps etc. If that state law reads as so then she was at fault. Your apology to her was an honorable and humbling gesture on your part. The fact that she attempted to merge into your lane anticipating your generosity of allowing her to do so was totally in your control. I feel she should have apologized for hitting your vehicle because she also was in control of her own vehicle and she made the decision to merge expecting you to allow her to merge into your lane. If the state law is written as so then it appears that legally she was in the wrong in this case. Your apology i feel may be coming from a two sided coin. On one side of the coin the apology is warranted because if one were legally at fault one should acknowledge that fact and apologize and on the other side an apology may also be warranted because your decision to not allow her to merge voluntarily when you seem to knowingly have anticipated her move was also an error on your part. The option to allow her to merge was possibly in your control at that point? Your decision it would seem would be the deciding factor in this case. Maybe your apology came from the fact that you knew you had the option to allow her to merge but you made the decision to maintain your position and was not going to allow her to merge into your lane. So maybe you felt somewhat in the wrong but your decision would be based on your characteristic personality and that would i feel may determine who had the option in the beginning to have maybe helped avoid the collision between the two vehicles. Your apology i feel would have to based on what your conscience tells you. Only you would know that answer. The option to how the accident could possibly have been avoided would be based on your final decision and that would be between you and God. No one should make a judgment in what you were thinking or not thinking but your post indicates you did seemed to be in control and you could have made the decision to just allow her to merge into your lane before the accident actually happened? Your apology may have been based on that fact or not. Just a personal opinion based on your written account of how the accident happened and no judgement is being made here. As stated it is between you and your God. It is just a good thing no matter what to see that no one seemed to be injured in the accident.     

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

I agree. To apologize to someone is being humble and shows character. It sounds like you may have had the option to allow this person to merge into your lane. If you had not seen the other vehicle it would be understandable that there may be a collision. But it seems like you originally observed the other vehicle and anticipated her moving into your lane and at that moment is when you had the option to slow down and allow her into your lane or not. This woman should have not merged into your lane by basically forcing her way into your lane that i agree, was wrong on her part. I believe state laws read that the person merging into traffic lanes is the person that is the responsible party for merging into the traffic lanes incl. on/off ramps etc. If that state law reads as so then she was at fault. Your apology to her was an honorable and humbling gesture on your part. The fact that she attempted to merge into your lane anticipating your generosity of allowing her to do so was totally in your control. I feel she should have apologized for hitting your vehicle because she also was in control of her own vehicle and she made the decision to merge expecting you to allow her to merge into your lane. If the state law is written as so then it appears that legally she was in the wrong in this case. Your apology i feel may be coming from a two sided coin. On one side of the coin the apology is warranted because if one were legally at fault one should acknowledge that fact and apologize and on the other side an apology may also be warranted because your decision to not allow her to merge voluntarily when you seem to knowingly have anticipated her move was also an error on your part. The option to allow her to merge was possibly in your control at that point? Your decision it would seem would be the deciding factor in this case. Maybe your apology came from the fact that you knew you had the option to allow her to merge but you made the decision to maintain your position and was not going to allow her to merge into your lane. So maybe you felt somewhat in the wrong but your decision would be based on your characteristic personality and that would i feel may determine who had the option in the beginning to have maybe helped avoid the collision between the two vehicles. Your apology i feel would have to based on what your conscience tells you. Only you would know that answer. The option to how the accident could possibly have been avoided would be based on your final decision and that would be between you and God. No one should make a judgment in what you were thinking or not thinking but your post indicates you did seemed to be in control and you could have made the decision to just allow her to merge into your lane before the accident actually happened? Your apology may have been based on that fact or not. Just a personal opinion based on your written account of how the accident happened and no judgement is being made here. As stated it is between you and your God. It is just a good thing no matter what to see that no one seemed to be injured in the accident.     

This may help; the marks from her car are on the back panel of mine and u know that i do not usually rush along. Most accidents r a result of two peoples awareness or lack of it. Sometimes i just do not know how to respond or not respond to the rudeness of other drivers. Many times i have driven in Los Angeles and people honk at me when a pedestrian is crossing the road in front of me.
It is courteous to let pedestrians cross the road but in California it is the law to yield to pedestrians and stop when they cross streets at intersections. Furthermore many drivers wedge in anywhere they r able. So i wonder how much should one 'bend' when they r actually rude in their driving maneuvers? Yes sometimes u r aware of the rude ones and have hunch of what they r going to do.

i thought about it and at first thought that it might b given to much thought. But than realized how serious a task driving can be. It is good to b conscientious of our driving so i appreciate your thoughts 'no to know it all'. i think Nitewish and i have talked about this. It is best to put lite and the angels around u every time u and those u come in contact with every time u drive. Things could b much worst . i am very fortunate about driving in my life though i have had some mishaps in the past.

Jitendra

[guest88]

i think you shouldnt apologize if you dont mean it. i was taught and, am still learning, forgiveness is something you earn- not expect. why say your sorry if you dont even mean it, why give someone the benefit of the doubt for being wrong ? the other day i had a guest demand i apologize. i couldn't believe i had to apologize to someone for their own ignorance and impatience. instead i told that person to have a nice day and walked away. he chased me down and told my manager. can you believe how ridiculous he sounded when he told my manager and with such frustration, "he told me to have a nice day!" the man even tried making my manager force me to apologize. i wanted to say, "i'm so sorry your impatient and are having such a miserable time. i'm sorry everything came out the way you asked. and i'm sorry i forgot to wipe your ass on the way out." ok sorry. i didn't say these things, instead i walked away. i'm hoping he can see in some way how he might have been wrong. but if he can't then i dont care anymore, starting after this post. point being, you don't necessarily reward a child for being in the wrong. i'm not going to apologize to someone for hitting my car. what service to harmony are you doing by providing them with an insincere response. i'd either defend myself or immediately detach from the situation without a word. hopefully one of these two options gives the other something to think about- hopefully learn from. but apologizing to someone else for being wrong could mean your helping them repeat their mistake.

[yoshi]

i apologize to elefuntraxx...i did not mean to offend...  

i have been 'sensitive' all of my life.  some people call it psychic / intuitive....also seeing ghosts,,,communing with ghosts....having many spiritual experiences.  i went thru life not understanding these experiences and 'powers' until recent years ( manymany moons later   )  
the book i had mentioned in an earlier post explains the experiences and powers....i was very excited to find the book..and very excited to mention the book to others especially if they were also having those experiences / powers and desire to understand them    

i went thru years and years of being a 'freak' to the 'mainstream society'.....then finding that
there was a whole other society 'out there' that understood and accepted being intuitive and seeing 'ghosts'.   <3<3<3    sooo happy i was / am to be understood and accepted !!  

(((Love&Hugs&OM)))

yoshi

[guest88]

i apologize for my vulgarity here, or anywhere. . . . . i'm sorry.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

i think you shouldnt apologize if you dont mean it. i was taught and, am still learning, forgiveness is something you earn- not expect. why say your sorry if you dont even mean it, why give someone the benefit of the doubt for being wrong ? the other day i had a guest demand i apologize. i couldn't believe i had to apologize to someone for their own ignorance and impatience. instead i told that person to have a nice day and walked away. he chased me down and told my manager. can you believe how ridiculous he sounded when he told my manager and with such frustration, "he told me to have a nice day!" the man even tried making my manager force me to apologize. i wanted to say, "i'm so sorry your impatient and are having such a miserable time. i'm sorry everything came out the way you asked. and i'm sorry i forgot to wipe your ass on the way out." ok sorry. i didn't say these things, instead i walked away. i'm hoping he can see in some way how he might have been wrong. but if he can't then i dont care anymore, starting after this post. point being, you don't necessarily reward a child for being in the wrong. i'm not going to apologize to someone for hitting my car. what service to harmony are you doing by providing them with an insincere response. i'd either defend myself or immediately detach from the situation without a word. hopefully one of these two options gives the other something to think about- hopefully learn from. but apologizing to someone else for being wrong could mean your helping them repeat their mistake.

• i have experienced this: The real point is not what is happening around me but rather my reactions to the events and people who enter my 'classroom' for personal lessons. Insincere response? Y do u consider it insincere? i was grateful to get to a meditation that nite and not b delayed by having the police come and to go thru all that. Apologetic? The woman needed to feel rite so i felt no reason not to let her. She might think about it later and think; I was really aggressive and that guy was nice to me. hmmmm That's my take on it Eric. So yes i apologize that i got in her way when she was in a rush. She has to deal with her own reactions. In my spiritual life all i have to b concerned about is my progress. God will take care of hers. i'm not her spiritual mentor. Guess i just did not realize how important it was for her to get ahead of me.If was insincere than at least it avoided an ordeal with the police for both of us and i was able to get to the meditation on time.
  
  By the way i have been missing your presence here. Nice to have u comment.
  
  Steve
  

[Katze]

i apologize for my vulgarity here, or anywhere. . . . . i'm sorry.

thank you mr.e city and thanks for removing the offending words

Nitewish

[Elfuntraxx]

Hello again everyone! I would also like to apologize to ANYONE and everyone for anything i may have said to anyone! I apologize for being gone so long. I accept any and all apologizes! Oh,,, and I would also like to apologize for when i have to leave....elfuntraxxo0o0o0 bids adieu ~peace&love to apologizing~

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

I personally apologize to anyone and everyone for anything and everything that i or anyone has ever said or will ever say or do to you or anyone and will accept anyone and everyone's apology and would like to apologize to everyone and everything for anything and everything i may have done in the past and for anything and everything i have done recently and for anything and everything i may or may not do in the future and for being born in the past and currently living in the present and for living on into the future and for dying before i may have forgotten to apologize to anyone and everyone for anything and everything i may or may not have done after i was born! I apologize for this apology about apologizing for maybe or maybe not being too long...I AM SORRY!!!    

One such as yourself would never go overboard on such subjects. Not one such as yourself!

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

i think you shouldnt apologize if you dont mean it. i was taught and, am still learning, forgiveness is something you earn- not expect. why say your sorry if you dont even mean it, why give someone the benefit of the doubt for being wrong ? the other day i had a guest demand i apologize. i couldn't believe i had to apologize to someone for their own ignorance and impatience. instead i told that person to have a nice day and walked away. he chased me down and told my manager. can you believe how ridiculous he sounded when he told my manager and with such frustration, "he told me to have a nice day!" the man even tried making my manager force me to apologize. i wanted to say, "i'm so sorry your impatient and are having such a miserable time. i'm sorry everything came out the way you asked. and i'm sorry i forgot to wipe your ass on the way out." ok sorry. i didn't say these things, instead i walked away. i'm hoping he can see in some way how he might have been wrong. but if he can't then i dont care anymore, starting after this post. point being, you don't necessarily reward a child for being in the wrong. i'm not going to apologize to someone for hitting my car. what service to harmony are you doing by providing them with an insincere response. i'd either defend myself or immediately detach from the situation without a word. hopefully one of these two options gives the other something to think about- hopefully learn from. but apologizing to someone else for being wrong could mean your helping them repeat their mistake.

Some people have to go thru this phase of 'being rite'. When we recognize that they r going thru that phase we often let them feel the feeling of being what they consider to be rite. At some point they may recognize that those who do not have the need to be rite r recognizing that there is really no rite or wrong these r still opposites or dualities in the play of maya. The wise man rises above shame and pride, rite and wrong. We must take responsibility for our circumstances. We do not have to apologize. We can just can be friendly. In this case i only apologized because i was asked to. Sometimes i can be sincere and feel sorry that something happened for both of us. That does not mean i feel i was being abused or that i feel shamed. It just means that i am sorry that it happened so therefore i can apologize if someone else wants me to do so.They may be more responsible than me but that is their issue; Not mine. i have left it behind while they may be still carrying the baggage since they wanted to be rite.

So is my view about this subject rite? i do not think so.
So is my view wrong. i do not think so.
So is the subject dead? Perhaps. i am trying to understand myself. We just gain wisdom. There is no end ahead for this process. It is a process of understanding that we explore together.

Jitendra

just considering we should avoid "shame" --  as shame is ignorance (sin)... it is one of the trappings... we should learn and move on...  not knot upon past outcomes...
apology should center upon sincere expression of truth, by removing the filter of egoity.
if the vision of truth is not clear, a sincere effort to express our dissappointment that things happenned that way -- and even stating our puzzlement about how the event came about...   the key is sincerity  ? !

[guest88]

i think that's very mature to step back and allow another person to experience their life without to much interference. i feel a bit guilty for talking the way i did with what it is you've quoted me on. speaking in that manner is not as lasting. . . i'm being reminded that we're all equals, all learning, bound by trials and error- from your perspective, it seems. . . maybe you were trying to act on good will. . . i think- i was trying to do the same, 'til i ended up here talking about it. . . hmm- well there's one direction i want to take and it seems this feeling is always coming back, or, something. .always something. . . i can't say- you, namaste, and others have pointed out- these words. i know but i don't know. 

oh well  tomorrow is going to be a GOOD DAY ! time to sit back and watch what happens, ACT ON LOVE, if i can just hold on to this- and WATCH see what happens. i like keeping my distance yet feeling good for providing a loving service through being ! >_< random
but even more so, recognizing those undesired emotions and trying to cool them off in a practical manner so as to remain calm in the midst of any storm !

. . . i must admit, it feels good not getting as mad over other peoples actions and all ! seems hard sometimes. . . but good !

[elfunrocker]

Hi This is Elfun. I have returned in my natural form. I have been very mischievous and i created a lot of chaos here on the site and I APOLOGIZE to everyone!   Sometimes being just an Elf one needs to appear larger than life. So i transformed into Elfuntraxx which is my alter ego because he looks large and intimidating which is just the opposite of an elf. The small and meek. So i have came back in my original form to apologize for being such a naughty little entity. I will try to stay within this realm of spiritual enlightenment of wonder and joy for the new and improved spiritual portal located behind door number two. I have returned by invite from my previous dear partner & closest friend ;)Administrator Steve Hydonus (Aka. Surrender Kitty)... Me (Aka. Elfun),Steve Hydonus (Aka. Surrender Kitty) and Nitewish (Aka. Into Blue) had originally started this site previously known as Soul Searching. I was also an Administrator at that time and i played more of a humorous role as a little Elfun running rampant leaving little "elfunster tracks" of humor throughout the site back in the day . I like to travel in a more lighthearted way whenever possible because i feel that this life can be so very trying most of the time . So i think when i may get overwhelmed at times with all the chaos (+/-) on this sphere of chaos, i may also once again become part of "the problem". The polarizing force ( +/-) emitted on this sphere will sometimes pull you in! . Hence, that's when my mischievous Elfun (-) nature came out . But i really meant no harm and just got a bit carried away . So now i will travel through this land of wonderment and visit periodically every now and again and will leave a few Elfuntraxxo0o0o0o of a different "color" this time round . So you can call me Elfun but the name i go by is Elfunrocker buuuut, you can call me Elfun because i like to have FUN!   So hope to see you all real soon sooooo, Elfun-ooooo "littletraxx" bids all adieu ~ peace&love to all of you too~!!!   P.S. "The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. But the first to forget, is the happiest."

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Hi This is Elfun. I have returned in my natural form. I have been very mischievous and i created a lot of chaos here on the site and I APOLOGIZE to everyone!   Sometimes being just an Elf one needs to appear larger than life. So i transformed into Elfuntraxx which is my alter ego because he looks large and intimidating which is just the opposite of an elf. The small and meek. So i have came back in my original form to apologize for being such a naughty little entity. I will try to stay within this realm of spiritual enlightenment of wonder and joy for the new and improved spiritual portal located behind door number two. I have returned by invite from my previous dear partner & closest friend ;)Administrator Steve Hydonus (Aka. Surrender Kitty)... Me (Aka. Elfun),Steve Hydonus (Aka. Surrender Kitty) and Nitewish (Aka. Into Blue) had originally started this site previously known as Soul Searching. I was also an Administrator at that time and i played more of a humorous role as a little Elfun running rampant leaving little "elfunster tracks" of humor throughout the site back in the day . I like to travel in a more lighthearted way whenever possible because i feel that this life can be so very trying most of the time . So i think when i may get overwhelmed at times with all the chaos (+/-) on this sphere of chaos, i may also once again become part of "the problem". The polarizing force ( +/-) emitted on this sphere will sometimes pull you in! . Hence, that's when my mischievous Elfun (-) nature came out . But i really meant no harm and just got a bit carried away . So now i will travel through this land of wonderment and visit periodically every now and again and will leave a few Elfuntraxxo0o0o0o of a different "color" this time round . So you can call me Elfun but the name i go by is Elfunrocker buuuut, you can call me Elfun because i like to have FUN!   So hope to see you all real soon sooooo, Elfun-ooooo "littletraxx" bids all adieu ~ peace&love to all of you too~!!!   P.S. "The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. But the first to forget, is the happiest."

Thank you Elfun so nice to have u with us we r all working on our own balance but all of us r unbalanced in some way. Quite often the culture we live in itself is not conducive to being in balance in body, mind and spirit. It is in that recognition of where we get off balance that is part of the solution.

Jitendra

[elfunrocker]

Thank you Nice to be back to Elfun again...the small and meek of stature but larger in spirit of mind and soul. World looks different from down here