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« on: Mar 06, 2012 07:25 am »

i don't think it's healthy i'm imposing my will onto so many friendships. i get upset when we don't have proper communication. selfish rather, blind to whatever might really be happening. relationships should flow, not feel forced- right . . . ? our needs or desires. . . no worries. life is good : D very interesting. just curious. it's rather selfish to get upset because my needs are not being met but it happens. . i'm curious how meditation has helped you fix these areas of your life ?
« Last Edit: Mar 06, 2012 07:54 am by abysmaltouch » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #1 on: Mar 06, 2012 08:26 am »

i don't think it's healthy i'm imposing my will onto so many friendships. i get upset when we don't have proper communication. selfish rather, blind to whatever might really be happening. relationships should flow, not feel forced- right . . . ? our needs or desires. . . no worries. life is good : D very interesting. just curious. it's rather selfish to get upset because my needs are not being met but it happens. . i'm curious how meditation has helped you fix these areas of your life ?

What is the difference between needs and desires? What r needs now may appear to b desires latter on in time. Relationships flow until the time that we find our interests changing. Meditation helps you realize what another person really is inside and not what they hope to appear to others. Many times we think we want something but find out that what we see in others is not what they r able to see in themselves. Meditation also helps us to understand what we really r and not what we think we r. i have always liked this saying> Don't believe everything u think.

Jitendra
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« Reply #2 on: Mar 06, 2012 09:55 am »

yes, that's something i'm trying to say- my needs seem superficial. funny how we give meaning to meaningless things. guess it has to do with spiritual lessons. if i believed everything i thought. . . i'd probably be dead  Cheesy  heheh noooo idk. i was just upset for acting selfishly with some of my friends recently. blinded through ignorance, expecting too much and not being able to give in return. it's not really intentional, so i'm hoping somewhere a long the lines of entering meditation- i'm able to gain clarity of these moments and help things flow positively, even when that means separating. at least i'd be exerting will in a direction that FEELS right-at the same time, life is asking from me things in return in order to travel this path. haha idk why im posting anymore. there's really nothing to say. thanks for humoring me i suppose. really. stirring up things for no reason. i will find it soon ! something. . .  Grin gAHHHH heheheheh
« Last Edit: Mar 06, 2012 10:00 am by abysmaltouch » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #3 on: Mar 07, 2012 02:25 am »

After we have a few experiences with the heart chakra our emphasis begins to change. We begin to have an expanding conception of relationships. Our relationships can not be confined to the limitations of confining emotional definitions. We may still have a certain closeness that we share with someone special who also is progressing with us but we share our love with a larger group of people and with the divine essence we find all around us.

When we bring our attention and our awareness to the heart chakra we find a deepening love for everything around us. We come to tears over music or an animal or nature or a combination of things. We are growing in our understanding of relationships and love. Everything is getting better day by day. We r patient with others and ourselves. We know and experience God's love opening all around us.  We find ourselves accepting things as they manifest-not as our personal desires demand. We even accept our responsibility in making changes to the reality that we have created.

Jitendra
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« Reply #4 on: Mar 08, 2012 12:33 am »

yes, that's something i'm trying to say- my needs seem superficial. funny how we give meaning to meaningless things. guess it has to do with spiritual lessons. if i believed everything i thought. . . i'd probably be dead  Cheesy  heheh noooo idk. i was just upset for acting selfishly with some of my friends recently. blinded through ignorance, expecting too much and not being able to give in return. it's not really intentional, so i'm hoping somewhere a long the lines of entering meditation- i'm able to gain clarity of these moments and help things flow positively, even when that means separating. at least i'd be exerting will in a direction that FEELS right-at the same time, life is asking from me things in return in order to travel this path. haha idk why im posting anymore. there's really nothing to say. thanks for humoring me i suppose. really. stirring up things for no reason. i will find it soon ! something. . .  Grin gAHHHH heheheheh

Hi Eric i do not know y u r asking the question: Why am i posting there is really nothing to say. How do u figure? Friends always have something to say to friends. It is when there is no communication that friendship breaks down. But u.... U do not have to worry about that. U make the attempt. That is all one can do: Attempt. We r all deficient. How do we communicate? Communication works on many levels. i want to b a friend. That is all i can do: B a friend. i do not expect friendship returned. i just want to b a good friend to others. God keeps track of what we give. No one else needs too. i want to give because it is part of my nature to give. A flower is like that. It gives fragrance despite being crushed. How can it b that way? Some day we will know. Nothing is given that is forgotten.

All of a sudden we feel this happiness that has nothing to do with what others give us. i have felt it alone...

i remember once stopping in the desert and looking at the sky full of stars and then the silence and out of that silence came the sound of ommmmmmm. No one can gave it to me it came from within myself.

Someday some one will give us love and then they will take it away. But u will still remember that bliss. U will not forget it. Then u will know that at any moment that love can b taken away. A human being is not consistent. That kind of love is fickle. We learn more and more that it is conditional. Oh yes we can not help enjoying a few moments of happiness with someone. yet we must remember this to is not really what we r looking for. It is just to remind us of what we seek. That chemistry can remind us. yet we must b willing to let go when the moment comes to let go. Because this too is God's way of letting us  know what we r seeking. He/she is dangling carrots before us. But when the carrots r taken away. Then what?

That is all that really matters: Happiness. Not what i get from others or what i do not get. You can have everything from others and still not b happy. Happiness comes from within. Not from without. This is not a lecture. At least not for you. It is for me. It is that silent voice within telling me what i have always known but sometimes had to b reminded. U see the only true relationship that is healthy is that relationship that we have with the Soul and with the Self. It is only because we get a glimpse of the soul of another human being that we love them. Just think if we were able to get a glimpse of the soul of every human being. Then what? Who would we love then? Love is expanding when God takes it away in confining relationships. See things for the truth and not for appearances. Love... True Love is never taken away. It just is given differently at different times.

Now let us look at passion. Passion is a way of confirming our identity. Yet we come to realize that this to is not our true identity. It is difficult for some one who has worn a suit for many life times to tell them it is only a suit. We must b patient with ourselves. Like some of us who r addicted to smoking or alcohol it is hard to shake. Sometimes in this process we occasionally meet someone who also has the ability to share their love thru material or sexual expression. This gives us some relief from the imprisonment of the body. But it is not permanent and is not an end in itself. When it becomes the goal we loose track of what we r really seeking.

And for those that tease us with their love.... Let us realize that they seek attention which is a low form of love. Let us recognize the attention seekers.  Then let us seek a higher love where it really exists. Some human beings have it. When u meet one that does u will never forget. Each of us manifests it to some degree and to that degree -that one is able to manifest- we r attracted to its sweetness and its expression in that human being.

Jitendra
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« Reply #5 on: Mar 09, 2012 04:52 am »

thank you steve for taking the time to post
i really appreciate your words here
like a pickaxe to the frozen heart, and now- light shines through
the ice is melting as i read your thoughts and every word is valuable to me

thank you
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« Reply #6 on: Apr 08, 2012 03:06 am »

thank you steve for taking the time to post
i really appreciate your words here
like a pickaxe to the frozen heart, and now- light shines through
the ice is melting as i read your thoughts and every word is valuable to me

thank you

hey thanks Eric Glad to know that something peeps thru the cracks of my own ego and has significance. Guess who i see on line? It's that 'guardian censor angel' Nitewish.  Undecided   Wink
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« Reply #7 on: Apr 08, 2012 03:13 am »

someone has to watch over you  Cheesy
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« Reply #8 on: Apr 08, 2012 03:24 am »

someone has to watch over you  Cheesy



Yikes! i'm such a small creature and Big Brother is peeping thru everywhere!

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« Reply #9 on: Apr 08, 2012 03:51 am »

someone has to watch over you  Cheesy



Yikes! i'm such a small creature and Big Brother is peeping thru everywhere!



I am not your Big Brother  Grin ~ I'll leave that job to someone else
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« Reply #10 on: Apr 08, 2012 05:47 am »

We had it so good... Talking to the angels
creating and seeing saints!
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« Reply #11 on: Mar 16, 2014 09:56 pm »

i don't think it's healthy i'm imposing my will onto so many friendships. i get upset when we don't have proper communication. selfish rather, blind to whatever might really be happening. relationships should flow, not feel forced- right . . . ? our needs or desires. . . no worries. life is good : D very interesting. just curious. it's rather selfish to get upset because my needs are not being met but it happens. . i'm curious how meditation has helped you fix these areas of your life ?

Good question Eric. Even though i meditate i still feel bad when i no longer can communicate with those i love. Yet it seems as though some people have robbed our past when they have made your life richer and you have made their lives richer. Our past and all its beautiful memories often seems stolen. Lost forever. I am still trying to understand it. Those people who stay with us.. they are our true friends... for this we can be grateful. So far I still feel the loss but I do not react negatively as once I may have. When we react we set up new waves of karma in motion.
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« Reply #12 on: Mar 17, 2014 05:49 pm »

hi Steve. it was nice to come back to this thread. Excellent post my friend. : ) I especially like this little exerpt.

Quote
A flower is like that. It gives fragrance despite being crushed. How can it b that way? Some day we will know. Nothing is given that is forgotten.
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« Reply #13 on: Feb 01, 2015 04:01 pm »

i have never been married yet i have a family; My spiritual family. i have met many people in my life who vow never to marry again and seem to be very happy for it. They most likely would not be close to me as friends if they were married so i am very happy that they are not because they have more time to spend with God and also with me. i have found that most times people who get very close to one person separate from or loose many of their significant friends. There is also usually a lot of possessiveness and jealousy as a result on the part of those who are bound together. Personally i feel that if i was to have married those i was close with i would have made a critical mistake in my life and God has sparred me that.

Marriage life is not out of the question for many of us. Yet perhaps we have our reasons for not getting married and we may have not found that very special someone that we feel we want to make a life long commitment to. Having been in SRF for years i have also found that monks recommended changing our relationships when they are no longer functional. Why would someone want to subject themselves to living a life with someone that they have no common interests in? Especially if they find someone that would make them happy and help their spiritual life.

i find that relationships evolve in my life. Many people have come back in my life recently and i can explore those past encounters in new and meaningful way. It would b very difficult to do this if i were married.

We often grow apart from those who are close to us but later we are able to take up a relationship and see it differently. i have friends that feel this way and we feel we were drawn together from past life associations. As we learn to perfect friendship through are our friendship we are finding the greatest friend of them all-God.
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« Reply #14 on: Feb 09, 2015 03:10 pm »

I once heard Brother Ishtananda talk about the spin doctor we have in our own heads. I see it as one of the main reasons for separation in relationships. It is called taking things personally and listening to the spin doctor in our head that creates a personal version of what has happened. A testimonial of sorts. We believe what we want to about what has happened and sometimes do not face the truth:

The left hemisphere of the brain is trying to put a story together about our life.  The left hemisphere will do anything to keep a belief - sticking to it no matter what.    There was a woman in a hospital in New York.  She kept saying that she was at her home in Maine.  The psychiatrist asked her, "If you are in your home in Maine, then why are there elevators in the building that she is in now?"  The patient explained to the doctor, "You wouldn't believe what it cost to have those elevators installed in my house".   So you see we have a spin-doctor who is trying to keep the story together of  'who I am '.   We believe our own press releases.
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