the silent treatment

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

If we are loving-which i know you are-there will always be new encounters with love along the way. As we grow and develop on the spiritual path there will come a time we are bewildered by the many expressions of love thru which God loves us in one incarnation after another as lovers and married partners...mothers fathers and friends. We will meet many of these associations if not in this life then in the afterlife...all to expand our understanding and embrace a larger view of love.

[guest88]

Hi Steve !
Exactly!

I hope to be a better man not just for my ex but anyone willing to share their heart with me. It isn’t always easy when we get caught up in the riddle and take/make things so personal because well- relationships are personal and the ego is easily bruised.

Cheers mate  ! ^_^

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Hi Steve !
Exactly!

I hope to be a better man not just for my ex but anyone willing to share their heart with me. It isn’t always easy when we get caught up in the riddle and take/make things so personal because well- relationships are personal and the ego is easily bruised.

Cheers mate  ! ^_^

Yea no ego no pain and more ego more pain. Many times we have to be reminded just how much we still have that we have to get rid of. Most human beings use others for their own ends. But karma will always hunt us down. So i just go ahead and get mad at no one. Ive had some pretty hard knocks with relationships. It just astounds me how people take their hurt out on others. Then their pain only increases. I have had old friends and lovers come back though over the years. If you really pray for someone and give kindness instead of cruelty back you never know what to expect. People remember kindness but if they don't you can bet there will be those to take their place who do. I have so many kind friends Eric. Your one of them.God sent us together to rise above the noise of life. We are only becoming stronger friends because we transcended our differences and recognized that love is the greatest victory of all. If you truly love-- your heart will know you achieved victory by not caving in to defeat when spiritual deprivation is apparent in others. It is the best time to realize your own spiritual strength. Never be defeated by life. Carry that portable happiness with you to face all circumstances. Have a vice grip on God thru all the hell this world can give. Whenever you can-meditate--and you will see the world has less and less affect on you because it is all a crazy drama full of ups and downs.

The roller coaster ride is for kids. Enjoy the inner search and God's presence every moment of your life. Bumper cars are for young souls. Its quite an amusement park here. I was just at the fun house yesterday. I never thought i'd see the picture i saw in the mirror! I look stranger by the day. Guess i was looking in a real strange mirror! Hmmm and i payed for that attraction? Wow what people will do for entertainment! Be careful its quite a labrynth out there. You may have a hard time getting out buying a ticket for some of these attractions.

[guest88]

Thanks for this advice above Steve. I find I am being given the silent treatment on multiple fronts, but to those who give it, it's as if it's not happening and there's a "pretend to be something" or "nothing to see here" that I can not pretend when we are face to face. Work, interest and past. Instead I wish my past and my present well and try to respond from Love, even if that means extricating myself out of an uneasy situation. Why pretend? The only reason it would hurt is because we've opened our Hearts up and it is so easily dismissed. I think though on the Masters who have found God and are able to walk in complete realization, that they must be on a receiving end of abuse when others are putting their own barriers up to Gods Love. I will try and maintain the course, which is finding God and resting safely in his Love always. _^_ Peace friend.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

I remember Paramahansa Yogananda saying that the thing that hurt Jesus the most was not being tortured on the cross but rather having all his friends leave him. Can you imagine anyone caring that much when they got the silent treatment? Love is beyond our comprehension and beyond our present capability to fathom. But just as I was saying these words an ant 🐜 was crawling on the couch frantically trying to get away from me. Little did he know I was trying to set it free! And finally got the critter on a piece of paper to liberate it outdoors. I think that love is this way. It manifests in small ways whenever we are presented with a chance to express it. We will be given more than our fair share to do that with so many young souls that cannot understand that we play a small part in Gods love in every little thing presented to us. Even in the small ignorance we see around us. In small ways we can fly.

[guest88]

Wow thanks Steve. And, as always, I am grateful for this place to share with you and gain perspective. Funny you too had a special message from the Ant today. I may share this totemic knowledge after this post. That breaks my Heart what Yogananda has said about Jesus. Wow...

Concerning my grievances earlier... A little clarification...

I think I was a little upset earlier because my Heart is ready to resolve the past with my ex but the reality has shown me that now is not that time and simultaneously my Heart was opening up to a Love interest with who I thought was my ideal Woman but reality again has shown that now is not our time either. In both instances a door opened up just recently only to be given the silent treatment from both parties all at the same time. My friend has pointed out to me that this timing is a message in learning not to be bothered by external circumstance. Given the current chapter I'm learning in the Gita, I do believe Spirit was speaking through him and this is the right message. I understand I have some Karma to work out and more importantly am learning how to treat others the way I wish to be treated while not being bothered by upsetting situations. I suppose it's right to say it's very much an Ego thing to think my, "ideal Woman" the way I imagine is out there for procreative and romantic purposes and an ego thing to try and put my last relationship in good standing when she isn't ready.

The silent treatment may be asking us to learn to find peace internally when things aren't going our way. Fortunately I have a wonderful group of friends like yourself to figure these things out. It's easy to talk about, a lot harder to practice when these affairs are more intimate . I see it's important to try, even when the mind is hard to still. Putting what you said about Jesus into perspective is very humbling. 

I may try and share some more GTWA later on too. Cheers. 

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

while seeing amma she made the comment that those who give others the silent treatment and stick their nose up in the air actually have a form of mental illness. sometimes we wonder about ourselves when this treatment is given to us however we should realize that people do practice meanness and this kind of behavior is a result of being so wrapped up in ourselves and our ego that there is only one view; our own.

Jitendra

Hello Eric I think we have all encountered this in our lives but must recognize that if we attempt a couple times to communicate with those that have been close to us and still receive no response or the silent treatment we can safely surmise that the assessment of Amma above can apply. Sometimes we do have to apologize for our behaviors in the past but we also may find the behaviors of those we have interacted with was less than exemplary so they really have no excuse to give us the silent treatment. It takes a Master like Amma to decipher the often ambivalent moods of others towards us and their lack of response to what was once a significant relationship.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

The silent treatment may be asking us to learn to find peace internally when things aren't going our way. Fortunately I have a wonderful group of friends like yourself to figure these things out. It's easy to talk about, a lot harder to practice when these affairs are more intimate . I see it's important to try, even when the mind is hard to still. Putting what you said about Jesus into perspective is very humbling. 

I may try and share some more GTWA later on too. Cheers. 

When we do have friends that do not treat us meanly or give us the silent treatment we have the capacity to establish more constructive relationships and recognize that many people are still so caught up in ego that they have little capacity to introspect. Introspection and self observation of behavior is an integral part of spiritual practice that many people have barely scraped the surface on—their ego being a huge impediment in this process. Eric you talked to me about our expectations and how they may affect us and relationships. We really can let go of old worn out relationships when we recognize that there are people blessing our lives who do practice kindness and not meanness. Although the desires being fulfilled with people who practice meanness must be also relinquished; we ultimately may find peace in letting go of their disturbing vibration to our spiritual environments.

[guest88]

Steve,
I had a thought today, after reading your reply, that progress isn't necessarily a linear experience. Those same disturbing vibrations are something we ourselves are capable of and at times, our attention to our practices and loftier goals become a thing of little to no interest. Whether the pull of Life is grabbing us and asking us to reassess our current model of perception or whether one might consider these moments as bouts of Spiritual Amnesia, we are also engrossed by the Ego and similarly not immediately aware of our sometimes regrettable course of action. I agree with your sentiments on the blessings to be found in particular relationships. I have discovered very kind friends that are responsive and make an effort to better themselves and I know because I desire the same that this is why I might be around such inspiring people. The truth is God is to be found in everyone, even the seemingly unkind- though they may not be presently aware of their own greatness, there are blessings for such interactions. I am happy to be able to let go because all we are holding on to at this point are thoughts and emotions, a playback of unresolved and unfulfilled desires and when we practice letting go of these attachments by the practice of directing our awareness in meditation- the liberating effect it has on helping us move on from the past, now severed, connections become recognizable as a beautiful aura of peace or understanding envelops us. If we can maintain our practices, we can forgive our transgressions and others and honor the God within with gratitude for the opening of our Hearts by the grace of a living Spirit. Murshid Inayat Khan speaks in the back of my mind and reminds me that sorrow is an immediate heart-opener, we accept the poison Life can offer as a blessing- Suffering leading ultimately to liberation. 
Jai Guru.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

I think specifics work better than generalities Eric. There is scum out there and there are catfish that look for it. Bottom feeders are in abundance. (That’s why I am here with you spending time in Fellowship.) If it points back to us who have created this outcome then I have no disagreement in your assessment. But it helps to have someone point out this with examples otherwise most of us are still blind. That’s why I will tell a friend where and when they have been cold and given others the silence treatment. If their ego recoils and they are not willing to listen it’s time to move on. Some people are defensive and their egos are so sensitive they cannot listen without striking back like a 🐍 snake.

I also have found many people are like psychological antiques. They don’t and will not change. They remain locked into old forms of behavior and thought patterns that constantly resurface in different guises. At some point it helps to identify these symptoms so we can see we are dealing with what Amma called a form of mental illness. Sometimes we are obliged to recognize we have become stagnate in a toxic relationship. The tentacles of these relationships can reach down into our own consciousness and leave us paralyzed to recognize closing one door can open up other more expansive doors for ourselves. As Amma said at the beginning of this thread some people do practice meanness. It is just important to recognize that people do practice meanness when we wonder if we may be responsible for their behaviors.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Steve, I have discovered very kind friends that are responsive and make an effort to better themselves and I know because I desire the same that this is why I might be around such inspiring people. The truth is God is to be found in everyone, even the seemingly unkind- though they may not be presently aware of their own greatness, there are blessings for such interactions. I am happy to be able to let go because all we are holding on to at this point are thoughts and emotions, a playback of unresolved and unfulfilled desires and when we practice letting go of these attachments by the practice of directing our awareness in meditation- the liberating effect it has on helping us move on from the past, now severed, connections become recognizable as a beautiful aura of peace or understanding envelops us. If we can maintain our practices, we can forgive our transgressions and others and honor the God within with gratitude for the opening of our Hearts by the grace of a living Spirit. Murshid Inayat Khan speaks in the back of my mind and reminds me that sorrow is an immediate heart-opener, we accept the poison Life can offer as a blessing- Suffering leading ultimately to liberation. 
Jai Guru.

I often come back to your words Eric and do find them to be true. I think though that there are times that we recognize we just are not like other people and their actions. The best example to me is your own personal experiences with people who have given you the silence treatment. You and I know who they are. I think the point Amma was trying to make is that sometimes we wonder about ourselves but we need to know that some people do practice meanness and that practice is no longer part of our behaviors. It is a good experience to know that ours is no longer a life of cruelty towards others which is indeed a mental illness. Sometimes we must recognize that others we meet have mental illness and some of our leaders have it also. It is often for us to recognize the darkness of evil presences. They really are around and can delay our spiritual progress if we are not very strong spiritually as Jesus was when he said “Get the behind me Satan.” We must guard our little spiritual accomplishments from such dark presences in our life.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Steve,
I had a thought today, after reading your reply, that progress isn't necessarily a linear experience. Those same disturbing vibrations are something we ourselves are capable of and at times, our attention to our practices and loftier goals become a thing of little to no interest. Whether the pull of Life is grabbing us and asking us to reassess our current model of perception or whether one might consider these moments as bouts of Spiritual Amnesia, we are also engrossed by the Ego and similarly not immediately aware of our sometimes regrettable course of action. I agree with your sentiments on the blessings to be found in particular relationships. I have discovered very kind friends that are responsive and make an effort to better themselves and I know because I desire the same that this is why I might be around such inspiring people. The truth is God is to be found in everyone, even the seemingly unkind- though they may not be presently aware of their own greatness, there are blessings for such interactions. I am happy to be able to let go because all we are holding on to at this point are thoughts and emotions, a playback of unresolved and unfulfilled desires and when we practice letting go of these attachments by the practice of directing our awareness in meditation- the liberating effect it has on helping us move on from the past, now severed, connections become recognizable as a beautiful aura of peace or understanding envelops us. If we can maintain our practices, we can forgive our transgressions and others and honor the God within with gratitude for the opening of our Hearts by the grace of a living Spirit. Murshid Inayat Khan speaks in the back of my mind and reminds me that sorrow is an immediate heart-opener, we accept the poison Life can offer as a blessing- Suffering leading ultimately to liberation. 
Jai Guru.

Yes Eric I can relate. It is easier to see clearer in moments of spiritual inspiration. We all backslide and the linear path is not a smooth forward motion but often fraught with detours down pot whole roads. When the pull of life grabs us it can easily be a moment of spiritual amnesia. I don’t have the answers but I can come up with some problem solving questions. Perhaps that’s the best I can offer at this point in time.

Can severed relationships also be seen as an expression of individuality also? Some of us must explore our own unique paths apart from us as we do the same? Attraction and repulsion being seen as two sides to a coin. They eventually show their face on each side....Like dice or a coin thrown in the air depending on circumstances which side will land next throw up in the air.

This line you wrote rings true to me in moments of understanding and gratitude;

“I am happy to be able to let go because all we are holding on to at this point are thoughts and emotions, a playback of unresolved and unfulfilled desires and when we practice letting go of these attachments by the practice of directing our awareness in meditation- the liberating effect it has on helping us move on from the past, now severed, connections become recognizable as a beautiful aura of peace or understanding envelops us.~ Eric

We can feel love for those we have been with and appreciate their unique contributions to our life despite having to also appreciate the uniqueness of our current differences and separation. As we continue to pray for them we can develop our own compassion through our own struggles with ourselves and appreciate their unique journey and spiritual lessons which may be entirely different than our own at different times. We come to many crossroads in life where we momentarily stop and may see a rest area along the way where we enjoy the company of others we meet. But soon we are back on our personal journey again-that really is ours alone to travel. I imagine we are just fortunate to meet a stranger along the way-that will keep us company for a while-ultimately to leave at a time, of departure, unknown to us but inevitably to come in a future yet unknown.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Often as new doors open it becomes easier to relinquish the past when old doors close behind us.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Had another insight tonight; the judgement card came up in a tarot reading. I believe that what ever comes to us we must also evaluate as something we have created. So the silence treatment has something to do with judgement. Someone has judged us fairly or unfairly to not want to speak to us at all. We should also look at ourselves and try to assess where we may have judged others unfairly.

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Had another insight tonight; the judgement card came up in a tarot reading. I believe that what ever comes to us we must also evaluate as something we have created. So the silence treatment has something to do with judgement. Someone has judged us fairly or unfairly to not want to speak to us at all. We should also look at ourselves and try to assess where we may have judged others unfairly.

The interesting thing about this journey. I start noticing that even though I’ve had some bad karma— I find —because I let the past go— I have new friends that appear, old ones resurface and some staying around for good...those soul travelers. Everyday in every way I find my gratefulness for all experiences in my life increasing and looking back I’m happy with the people that came by. Sometimes I couldn’t make it better. Sometimes I couldn’t make it work. Sometimes I couldn’t make it better. We came high...not high enough. Sometimes I couldn’t make it better...caught in the riddle and the rhyme. All in all it’s lookin better though We came high.. which made us better. We came high...the highway we go.