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the silent treatment

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Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?
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« Reply #15 on: Dec 26, 2012 05:58 pm »

"Silent Treatment"

the emphasis is not on 'silence',
silence is only significant once realizing that the key word is "treatment"
-- treatment is being used to mean "reaction / action"...   or the way/method someone chooses to interact.

"Silent Treatment" does not emphasize "silence", moreso consider the INTENT of the "treatment" as "division, seperation"

Remember, a "passive" action (ile.- silence, non-engaging, non-responsing) with negative intent,  can be just as sharp a sword as an "aggresive / outward" action (i.e. - hurtful words, lies, violence, etc.).

So Amma is likely trying to remind us that we should guard against veiling our intents and actions... be mindful that we are all interconnected.   
A Passive meanness is still hurtful.

?



Om Namah Shivaya!

Thank You Namaste2All  Recently i looked at this post and realized how much it had to say." Remember, a "passive" action (ile.- silence, non-engaging, non-responsing) with negative intent,  can be just as sharp a sword as an "aggresive / outward"  action"  Fascinating insight divine friend. 

i am very happy to say that the person giving me the 'silent treatment' is now communicating again and sometimes we have to look beyond some of the things people do because there is really something very worthwhile about them despite some of their quirks. Besides when we look carefully into the mirror of those around us we see that love wears some strange faces at times and we begin to recognize those faces in ourselves as well.

Like a serpent that has been injured: the  ego also recoils but it still has a venomous strike and must be watched  with constant awareness and caution.

When there are differences between people they often seek refuge in other relationships or people and forget the importance of the people that were in their life. Yet after they find that new relationships pose problems also they often go back to old standbys.

It was nice of you to give so much thought to my post about being given the silent treatment. i would think that you yourself have experienced this treatment to write so clearly about it.

Don't you think it is amazing how such a realized soul like Amma continues to bring people together? Yes? Her love is boundless. Even a small quote of her's can bring a change of consiousness and mindset.

Steve Hydonus
« Last Edit: Aug 24, 2013 09:16 am by namaste2All » Report Spam   Logged

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Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?
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« Reply #16 on: Dec 27, 2012 05:53 am »

Cheers Jitendra,
In the little human kosha (sheath)
-- in that dimension of experience, when magnetized,...

seems it causes a weariness,
as it is just so many repeating patterns
so many that seem so disconnected...

it is the contrast of Nature (when magnetized within Creation) is all,
and it helps gain compassion for all still 'hypnotized' to the Cosmic Motion Picture shows outer dramas...

I speak to Her (Divine) in such times,
how we might liberate moreso...

She (Divine) is so patient and loving... so gentle, and humble, so always... it is so sweet...
what can a little Donkey do, but Trust, and put one foot in front of the other,
and trust it fall safely upon the Path, and not upon a Void....

As in the devotional chant,
"Thou my stars are gone, and the sea is dark,
Still I see the Path, thru thy Mercy"

OM


Nomaste

U seem to b getting more comfy with humility.

We have some very deep samskaras that we carry with us from the past.
We have looked to satisfy certain desires with others in relationships,
service, desire and otherwise. It is materializatiom of our ideals
trying to find fullfilment in this physical universe. Being guided
by the great ones we are being shone the dusty inner hallways of our consciousnes.
Here lie the hidden corridors of the 'needs' we have harbored
for incarnations. Suddenly the pace of evolution speeds up and
thru tbe use of kriya and other progressive meditation techniques
the pace of our  evolution increases and exposes to  us to all kinds
of associations that are often unresolved emotional power spots.

Jitendra
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« Reply #17 on: Jan 10, 2013 12:53 am »

of Humility...

seems it simply is one of the sidhhis (ascetic majesties) in this lil donkey devotee view...  even if not sure it is spelled out in the formal treastises (but it may...)

Humility seems natural to arise,
when we increasingly view without boundaries the qualities (good fruit and bad fruit) in any Human form...
are seen less and less identified with individual, but with Divine Laws and Divine manifestations of the Cosmic Play...
when we begin to "view" (by Grace) the Soul (instead of the Man\Woman garment),
it becomes so liberating...

For those that overeat, drink alchohol or drugs, or bound to pretty faces, or steal, or lie...  that is not the Soul, that is not what we see as the Being...   We see the Beam of Light pure, and simply also observe it has been defracted and dissipated and bent some of it's light into an outer garment of these dramas...   and those that are playing out those roles are serving "me"... that I not fall to that degree again...   that little me, grows in Virya (Moral Courage) and if little me liberates from those seed tendencies (even if they be of little gravity compared to a great alchoholic, or criminal -- well, when little me liberates, it is like a drop of a rock in the pool... and the ripples are sensed by the others in the pool... there arises in all, a portion of insight for liberation....


but mostly it is that other Beamlets are serving me, taking on the roles that little me can no longer stomach...  I renounce nearly out of a 'weakness' in a way...  for even wealth, and vitality are renounced...   we give all fruit (ripe or rotten, sweet or sour) to the Divine... for there is none but the Divine anyways...

so humility, seems simply a matter of the Divine Ascetic Majesties, Truth simply settles upon the garment, further and further manifesting at times...  (but always in Chitta Heart Nucleus)...

OM

Well thought out insight Namaste2All. especially this part:

 those that are playing out those roles are serving "me"... that I not fall to that degree again...   that little me, grows in Virya (Moral Courage) and if little me liberates from those seed tendencies (even if they be of little gravity compared to a great alchoholic, or criminal -- well, when little me liberates, it is like a drop of a rock in the pool... and the ripples are sensed by the others in the pool... there arises in all, a portion of insight for liberation....

Others serving us thru their involvement in Maya. I'll keep that in mind next time i feel as though something or someone is difficult. Very interesting outlook Namaste2All.

Jitendra
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« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2013 12:59 pm »

while seeing amma she made the comment that those who give others the silent treatment and stick their nose up in the air actually have a form of mental illness. sometimes we wonder about ourselves when this treatment is given to us however we should realize that people do practice meaness and this kind of behavior is a result of beimg so wrapped up in ourselves and our ego that there is only one view; our own.

Jitendra

I have witnessed this in people who have been close to me especially recently. I have to remind myself what she (Amma) has said. Jesus was left by all his friends. Yet he still was able to give love to them. Isn't that an incredible feat?

If we make mistakes a true friend seeing this does not leave us and give us the silent treatment. Seeing where we have
erred he/she is there to help us understand.

Jitendra
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« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2016 02:17 am »

There is nothing wrong with practicing silence but some people do it listening to baseball games and other things while not talking to a friend. When one practices silence it is important to ask oneself this: Is it because i hold unfriendly feelings towards someone else?
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« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2016 05:06 am »

There is nothing wrong with practicing silence but some people do it listening to baseball games and other things while not talking to a friend. When one practices silence it is important to ask oneself this: Is it because i hold unfriendly feelings towards someone else?

We have better ways of communicating. The family that has.... Smiley together stays together.

                                                 the barnicles
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« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2016 05:25 am »

There is nothing wrong with practicing silence but some people do it listening to baseball games and other things while not talking to a friend. When one practices silence it is important to ask oneself this: Is it because i hold unfriendly feelings towards someone else?

We have better ways of communicating. The family that has.... Smiley together stays together.

                                                 the barnicles

Ruff!
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« Reply #22 on: May 02, 2016 05:36 am »

There is nothing wrong with practicing silence but some people do it listening to baseball games and other things while not talking to a friend. When one practices silence it is important to ask oneself this: Is it because i hold unfriendly feelings towards someone else?

We have better ways of communicating. The family that has.... Smiley together stays together.

                                                 the barnicles



Ruff!

Johnny Piglet will be a joinin us for lunch. Y'all welcome now ya hear?
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« Reply #23 on: Aug 08, 2017 04:24 pm »

while seeing amma she made the comment that those who give others the silent treatment and stick their nose up in the air actually have a form of mental illness. sometimes we wonder about ourselves when this treatment is given to us however we should realize that people do practice meanness and this kind of behavior is a result of being so wrapped up in ourselves and our ego that there is only one view; our own.

Jitendra

i think this was one of the most important bits of wisdom i heard Amma say and while searching for something here at the portal i came across it again. Kind people just don't treat others this way. We often have to come to the realization that we ourselves project kindness on others when in fact they may not be kind. When we come to the realization they are not; it baffles us.  Amma explains many human liabilities easily and often in a timely manner.
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« Reply #24 on: Apr 10, 2018 04:19 am »

I think this is what you may be facing right now Eric.
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« Reply #25 on: Apr 10, 2018 07:53 pm »

Namaste friend. I get the silent treatment plenty and am guilty of giving it too. Todays world is strange. Like texting for example... It makes it super easy to detect when you're being ignored, then to watch others try to be formal about it or make excuses- it's nauseating. We all want to be heard and validated and when we can send each other our thoughts at any given moment, I don't know if it's really a good thing. Now that I am freed from my sales job, I am trying to spend less time carrying that radioactive smart phone around with little success. I guess this is a separate topic concerning health but we are all so addicted to our phones and they've become our primary mode for just about anything we do in life(Pay bills, set schedules, play games, create music, chat with friends)....
Anyways... Yes, girls in particular are very selective in who they respond to on their phones. It seems the ones I talk to always have more then one suitor so the ball is most always in their court. Sometimes it's the other way around, I am the one uninterested and end up ignoring because I don't want to pretend and lead someone on. So it's kind of ironic and makes you really understand what a girl means when she says, "let's just be friends" HAH!

In regards to my previous relationship- good riddens. What an awful relationship that was. We had our innocent and beautiful moments but they've become outweighed by terrible communication, lack of intimacy and a general unwillingness to call things for what they were/are. Her singing voice used to penetrate my soul but now my heart is hardened and I don't care to love this person anymore. It may sound cold hearted but it's liberating. Should our paths cross I hope to maintain a level head since I do carry anger still... Be kind and be in and out of there. Leave me alone is how I feel now.

I am very personable and keep only a small group of friends for a lifetime. Even those who are no longer in communication with me that are my friends, we feel so much love for each other when we see one another. I can't say the same for this person and its okay, I got to focus on forgiving myself and achieving my goals.

This "treatment" has been a window to Love. The purer aspects of it, the intensity of it(even if it's just one sided) and the corrupt aspects as well. I believe Inayat Khan is right to say after we experience this we pursue it in a deeper sense(like with God)... The next woman I experience anything with will be more of an equal and deserving experience. I believe there is someone out there for me and this girl was definitely not the one.
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« Reply #26 on: Apr 11, 2018 05:39 am »

As you know i dealt with a similar situation. Although i became more understanding with time. We can be grateful that we have developed a level of kindness and do not choose to treat others like they may treat us. Perhaps that is part of the test my friend....to return kindness where we have been mistreated. This marks an evolutionary leap in spirituality. Consequently our environment and friends and lovers will also improve. More and more i see kinder and more evolved types in my life. This is because i chose to ignore the transgressions of others and not be foolish and continue to let them harm me but prepared to give love and kindness no matter what the circumstances. Quite often when people who have loved us give us the silent treatment there are great insecurities in them and they are extremely frustrated with themselves.
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« Reply #27 on: Apr 11, 2018 12:44 pm »

Hi Steve,
I think what you say is true. I just don’t see me getting over this so easily and I’ve told her why I am walking away which is all she’s wanted me to do anyways. You can be nice to someone but the way you love them is different and that’s fine too. right now I need to cultivate forgiveness on my own transgressions and while I’ve made great strides to my personal goals I am no where near satisfied or close to achieving the lifestyle and goals I seek.
Peace brother  Smiley thanks for letting me vent and helping me see things from a spiritual perspective
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« Reply #28 on: Apr 12, 2018 12:44 am »

I don’t know what’s happened but I feel happy and peaceful  today. I’m not angry with her anymore and feel wonderfully indifferent. I hope this feeling remains and thank you for the blessings Smiley
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« Reply #29 on: Apr 12, 2018 05:52 am »

Perhaps that is part of the test my friend....to return kindness where we have been mistreated.
i may have realized this before but often my ego gets in the way. you know, i think of a love a parent has for their child. a parent watches their child through all phases of life and even if that child is embarrassed by their parents at an early stage in their development, the parent recognizes where their child is for having gone through similar phases but loves them just the same.... i apologize for dragging this out and i think i am on a stronger resolve now. you know i didn't know i'd love this person right away it grew overtime. i romanticized and obsessed. she was never feeling it the way i was even early in the relationship she wanted out. i was blind and refused to acknowledge her own needs. we quickly fell apart and i don't need to count either of our flaws but now just accept things at face value. she wanted out and i first refused then i became angry when it finally happened. i wanted to direct hate to this person but why? she never deserved hate. i can't hate her. i do love her. while she doesn't love me, if i love her and she wants me to leave her alone then i can respect that. it was very difficult and i made quite an ugly mess of things just to get to this point.... but i think about it like this now... there's still a hope... there's nothing glamorous in this for me, no comforting kisses or holding of each other but there's a chance to love this person still. even if she is embarrassed by our past, i don't have to publicize anything. i can keep this person in prayer and still feel love for them... and maybe one day i can be there for her. better and stronger. all i wanted was to be her pillar, her man. it became corrupt for so many reasons. it was my first real relationship. but i won't give up. i will love her still and try to take my ego, what i think i am owed out of this equation. it's just not that type of relationship. as you say i will have to be more observant of my own emotions down the road... but if she ever needed someone strong to be there for her, i hope to be there. to prove all i wanted was to be a part of her life. but for now, i let go... no more negative obsessions. no more grief. no care for who she's with either so as long as she's happy... and if i haven't screwed it up to bad, maybe she can trust to confide in me again one day down the road. maybe we can laugh together again.

friendships are tender and beautiful thing and eventually we'll get to an age where we aren't making any new one's but losing those around us....

peace

so here's to peace and love, renewed connections- comfort and trust... time to let go and wash away
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