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Steve Hydonus
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« on: Aug 29, 2012 07:11 am »

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When we think of someone a lot and pray for them we can enter their aura field and understand their state of consciousness, their motivations and their thoughts and emotions. When you feel love for others the boundary between 'us and them'  becomes thinner and thinner. There is really no separation when you are in the presence of love.

what is love to you ?
i hope this question is not insulting, because i love many people and things, its like one of those things you know and feel but can't always explain. i see it exist in all life, every spectrum of it- through all species and even on a cellular level. i'm just trying to better understand its origin. so far i see love is enduring and can be found even in the things that i dislike or bring pain. is it possible our very universe was created in love or by love ? if so what does that mean ? how has love come to be ?

i'm not sure we can really answer that ?
it doesn't matter so much
life is beautiful and i'm glad to be here
this personality and ray of light is something i cherish
so, i'm not going to let it weigh me down
but if you have any insight and would like to share
i'm up for a good read !
well the day is young
see ya !

Love never stops growing and expanding so our definition grows and changes with the days and years. i have thought i was in love with
some human beings but how can you be in love with something that will not communicate with you? i would say that love between friends is the most important because it seems to last longer than romantic love. Many times when i have been alone i have felt a tremendous sense of love. It is like a deep communion or a connection with our creator that we make. In this sense i would have to say that meditation has helped me develop my definition of love and has expanded the boundaries of love for me.

Many of us are looking for a miracle in our life. Some kind of transformation that will take place from someone we meet. This is usually accompanied by pain since many of us are looking for love in pleasure. Pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin. It seems to me that we need to first be able to find happiness in our own solitude. Some people may even take that happiness away from us if we let them. It may take quite a time to regain the happiness that you cultivated in your own solitude and meditation. It might take a while to hear the birds sing and see the sunset again. We may be left alone for a while for nature will remind us. The stars will laugh at our presuming nature and smallness of behavior and eventually we will once again remember that love is all around us it is just for us to be receptive and to open our sight to see.

Appearences can be decieving. We may feel or think we are in the presence of love yet what we are seeing is a reflection of our own inner longings and our need to feel and express love. When we recognize the reality in front of us we have to reorient our attitudes in accordance with what is coming at us. It is best not to get disillusioned but reamain kind and express love no matter what is coming or not coming at you. We can continue being loving no matter what is coming at us if we make a supreme effort.
Eventually the people who can not be loving will leave our lives and those that can will remain. If their hearts open again they will return.

Love for God is the highest form of love. Many people seek freedom. Freedom from bills. Freedom from pain. Freedon to express. Freedom from oppression. Freedom Freedom. That is what our culture indoctrinates us to extol. Yet there is really no freedom. Our habits and desires dictate our life patterns and directions. We finally recognize that we create our own slavery by how we have treated ourselves and others and we ourselves create our own freedom. Yet there is a higher quality than freedom. It is love. Think if a nation was founded on love instead of freedom. What difference it would make. Yet it will take sometime before there is declaration of love instead of a declaration of democracy and freedom. It will happen some day if we have that vision. Just as we had a vision for freedom. Yet.........

..... Love has a higher calling. It is to follow a need to serve others to care about others and not just our own freedom to do as we please. Yet love is the true freedom because it opens our hearts and expands our consciousness so there becomes a thinner and thinner veil between us and our creator. The need for love and the ability to express and give love is the most important element of my life and it only leaves my field of consciousness when i let God leave my field of consciousness. We are all gong to that place where love manifests. Some sooner some later. We may take many side roads but soon we will meet once again in the hands of love.



All nations under God with love and compassion for all!

Jitendra
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« Reply #1 on: Mar 01, 2014 05:14 pm »


"Love is a verb, not a noun. Love is not trying to catch others, as if to frame them and hang them on the wall. Love never comes to a full stop, and it is not a one time act. It is an appreciation of a person, moment to moment. It is a stream of mutually shared moments. Love brings us into the moment and quiets our minds. It gets us out of our heads. Love is not about possessing someone, but about sharing moments together and making the most out of them. Love is not about impressing the other person with how perfect you are, but about allowing them to see your vulnerable and human side. Love reminds us that life is truly a sacred thing, and not merely a weary struggle for survival."

I know you wrote this Brock. This morning I asked my roommate where my parsley plant was. My roommate threw it out with another dying herb. Since I can't always be there to water them one of them did not survive. Yet I found the parsley plant still in the waste paper basket and revived it. I was happy I caught 3 squirrels in the cross space of the house before they were killed also.

It reminded me of the story that Anandamoy told about the 'Ugly Desert bush'. He was in the desert cleaning the yard and saw an ugly desert bush. He started chopping at it and Yogananda, picking up his thoughts, ran to the side of the building where he was at and yelled from a distance. "Is it dead? Is it dead?" Reaching Anandamoy he said no "You hurt it and you knew you hurt it. It will live just don't hurt it any more." He said 'I was just paralyzed and the plant was just leaning. One more chop and it would be gone. i felt as if I had hurt a little child.' But he always had a pilgrimages to the 'ugly desert bush' that remained remarkably alive because of the grace of the guru. Anandamoy said "Now think of the love that the Master had for an ugly desert bush. If he had this much love for an ugly desert bush think of how much more love he has for us."

We are much like this when we have love for others or have had love for others and then 'cut them down' in a moment of anger or intolerance or leave them in the cold after giving them warmth. Will our love live? Can we continue to be loving in the presence of ugliness around us? Will we heal the wounds of others? Will we revive even the ugly desert bushes that often come into our lives?
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« Reply #2 on: Mar 01, 2014 10:45 pm »

We are much like this when we have love for others or have had love for others and then 'cut them down' in a moment of anger or intolerance or leave them in the cold after giving them warmth. Will our love live? Can we continue to be loving in the presence of ugliness around us? Will we heal the wounds of others? Will we revive even the ugly desert bushes that often come into our lives?

Distracting isn't it?
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« Reply #3 on: Mar 01, 2014 10:54 pm »

Blackbird,
singing in the dead of night.
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life -
you were only waiting,
for this moment to arise.
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« Reply #4 on: Mar 01, 2014 11:10 pm »

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« Reply #5 on: Apr 24, 2014 06:12 pm »

I find myself feeling good about myself because I continue to love those i no longer see. If they communicated with me they would know. I still think of them... still pray for them. That love we shared is not dead in my heart. If we do not close our hearts down we feel that love that we sent out and continue sending out. We are OK with the fact that others may not feel the same. We begin to understand the state of consciousness that limits love to a few people. We expand our love to include more and more.
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« Reply #6 on: Jun 06, 2014 02:17 am »

When we have people leave our lives, we can then either make our hearts into stones or we are able to see even more our capacity to love. Love cannot be measured by what is returned but rather what is expanded and given. We become more confident about love when we know that it is always available. Others cannot take what we are.

J.
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« Reply #7 on: Jun 07, 2014 02:43 pm »

What fascinates me is that it takes quite a while to really get to know others. We have an ability to express free choice and to be openly loving or close down. Many people close down and will no longer express the heart chakra when they are placed with difficult choices. We must revise our views about others when this happens. If people limit our expression are they genuinely loving us or are they expressing fear, possessiveness and jealousy when they want us to limit love to them? This is what we must ask ourselves.
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« Reply #8 on: Jun 07, 2014 10:05 pm »

hi steve. although i can agree with your statement i find that there are also situations where setting boundaries are important. like preventing from letting someone walk all over you-
i knew a young romantic who fell in love with a girl that did not reciprocate the feelings. i don't think this young man understood what it meant to be in a mutual loving relationship as it was his first serious and intimate crush.... in any case, although this man was an idealist and all for love, a lot of his personality was overwhelming/manipulative and insecure. what was worse was his self righteousness blinded him from seeing anything as his own fault(in the end there is no fault. we're just living our lives and i'd accredit this to the maturing process...) well he pursued the girl that wasn't interested with such an intensity and obsessiveness that eventually lead to a falling out of friendships. the young lady tried to communicate this with the man but he continually insist that he was just expressing his loving self and didn't think for a minute he was the problem... even when he was told direclty what the problem was... life had to be a certain way.
it was rather selfish to think the girl is the one who shut down when really it was the young man whose longing to experience life in the way he envisioned drove those close to him further away.
it wasn't until a year or more later after separation had occurred that i realized i was the one expressing the fear, possessiveness and jealousy... and still to this day i experience these things...
sure we can ask ourselves to judge another and make assumptions as to why they're acting the way they are- but if you don't take the time to examine yourself- ask what did you do to be where you are now- then you're only prolonging your suffering.
you're right, it takes quite a while to really get to know others... we have the ability to love... and sometimes expresing that love and opening up means letting others live life the way they choose- even if that means seperation of paths. a friend will respect that and try to move on. i suspect we can never fully understand someone because 1) we are not that person... their journey doesn't have to be the same as ours... and 2) i know people that even in 80 years of age say they're still learning something about thesmelves.

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« Reply #9 on: Jun 07, 2014 11:02 pm »

Hello Eric

I have not had to set up boundaries as far as I know. But I have nothing to protect especially when it comes to people. They have the freedom to make their own choices and I choose and have always chosen not to take that from them. Closing down is something that happens when someone gives up on another person. Sometimes we need space between others but closing down leaves no further options...ever. I stick with that definition. There is a difference here. One is allowing space another is trying to erase others out of our lives.

It is important to realize that there are people that do cruel things and we have actually evolved out of the their sphere of influence. We must recognize this and let such cruelty leave our lives and find people who are kind. It may take life times for them to open their hearts once again.  Sometimes we just have to face the fact that there are some very cold and mean people in this world... even though for a time they might have appeared kind. When they are done with you they will even spit on you if they have a chance. It is best to warn people about such people. As I remember you did that once for me.
 
There are mirrors that reflect all around us and we can choose to turn away or look into them and face what we see. Life has a way of presenting the same issues until we grow out of them spiritually speaking.

Steve
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« Reply #10 on: Jun 19, 2014 01:44 pm »

It was very nice of you to share this about yourself Eric. There are also people who are not what we thought they were. This also plays into the situation. Yet they might have projected themselves as something more. Love has the nasty habit of disappearing over nite. Why is this the case? Because people give up on being loving. There are times we have no choice but to separate. How we do that shows our ability to be loving. Yet even if we need to separate we can still show that we care about others if we shared so much with them. If the person you were with is able to do that then on some level her love has not died. However we do meet people in our life who we eventually realize have a very limited ability to love. We may have not recognized it till circumstances bring that recognition to the fore.

Setting boundaries shows jealousy, possessiveness and the need to protect. At times we need space with other human beings but boundaries are made to show ownership. We really own nothing. Especially not people. It will all be taken at death however our concept of ownership must be given up. As long as we have it we will return to this earth to express it. How can we be happy for relationships that express not one ego but a larger ego developed by two people. This expression of ego is not love but a confrontation and isolation from others and the world.
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« Reply #11 on: Jun 20, 2014 06:42 am »

Eric and Steve, it sounds like you have both opened up about this topic to even deeper truths on the matter!

I'm pretty sure that if I could be in a state of the highest Samadhi right now, I would see the deepest truth on this matter to be there is no truth other than Love which we all really are one as, regardless of how things may appear at any lower level of our senses or mind.

Dharmically, I am not totally seeing things from this place right now.  I do mostly still see the world as a bunch of "separate stuff" most of the time, but I wanted to acknowledge what I consider to be the deeper truth while we all seem to be on the journey to uncovering truth from our unique perspectives and experiences.  All is Love!

Here's an Erich Fromm quote to the effect of what you ended your last post with Steve: "If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism."  In my opinion, the greatest part of being in love with anyone is the way it makes you open up to the world more, to loving others in more ways, now being blessed with an exclusive, personal connection to a sacred, romantic union with another which perhaps few others have or have ever had.  We are all connected, paying it forward is the way to continue to grow through the benefit of the gifts Universe has blessed us with, whether they be money, status, talent, a supportive romantic partner or many other things which help us to do our Dharma, our sacred work in the lifetime.

Of course many of the greatest masters will say all these "material blessings" are actually traps which may keep us from self-realization... I think there is truth in both perspectives, and personally, I like the Buddhist concept of following "the middle path" of Balance.

Those who turn a romantic bond into a "giant ego" which shuts itself from the world are not making the best use of their gifts, and may just be "in love" with whatever they are projecting onto the other.  Such illusions fade with time, usually within a year or two, if not sooner.  This is still a stage of learning though, and will probably help those two people along their way.

It sounds like we can all relate to a similar story, and we are different stages now in how we perceive the event of "rejection" or "abandonment" from someone who we trusted and were close to, or rather, how we have had great trouble letting go of our desires in the face of another's totally different desire.  There are many sides to this and ways of looking at it.

I appreciate both of you sharing your realities, experiences and perspectives and hope me sharing mine has had some value to you as well.


Personally, I know that I have had trouble projecting both my inner demons and angels onto others, neither is helpful, and when I do this it really doesn't seem to matter much if the other person is there or on the Moon.  I've been in relationships where I saw "the best" the other, even when they were not living up to this "best" at all.  What I was actually seeing was who I wanted to be in them.  I've experience unrequited love where this was also true, and once the other was gone, it was like I lost my "idol" to pray to, my connection to the divine.  If only they were here, I could see their infinite beauty and through this feel whole...  And when I finally got what I wanted and had felt separated from, it was the same illusion, just attached to a face, body and brain which kept me from SEEING THE ACTUAL PERSON I was spending so much time, money, thought, emotion, creativity and everything else I had to give on!  This eventually made her or him feel more and more guilty, and eventually betray my trust in numerous ways... later apologizing, etc. most likely living their own projections of their internal hopes and fears through me! Ha!  What mutual illusion!  And yet so much of these times, the highs and lows, were so beautiful!  I could write novels or films about them and people would love the stories, I know!  However, these are stories of internal adventure, challenges and growth, surrounded by the obstacles and resolutions of great drama! 

Quote
Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love.
― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

If we are with someone who we are mostly projecting our internal, subconscious hopes, fears, ideals and shame onto, are we not alone even if we are right next to another body considered our partner?

Alone, or "together, alone" we are faced with ourselves.  Sometimes, being with another in a similar place is very helpful for us to grow, even if it's just so we can have this realization of this great illusion we were both a part of!

Erich Fromm has many great quotes on what actual love is also...

Quote
“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.”

I think everyone comes into our life for a reason, and many times they may leave our lives for an even more powerful reason!  First, so we can be alone and reflect on how we got here, as you say Eric, and second, to open up our lives so new people and experiences are able to enter, most likely even more inspiring (and perhaps more challenging) in the aid of our growth in Life!


I know of a guy who was not a good boyfriend.  I'm quite sure he was abusive to his partner, at least verbally and emotionally, on a regular basis for years.  She just recently broke up with him, and he is going through the depths of his own inner demons, and yet he insanely projects it all onto her!  He posts online about how awful a person she is, all the the cruel things she did to him, etc. and then has repeatedly tried to kill himself different ways, and got arrested for drugs and drunk driving... just awful... such suffering..  jealousy, hate, anger... the cycle of growing up abused and projecting this onto others and oneself...  These are some of the greatest ills of our society, and perhaps we have all been there, in one of our hundreds or thousands of earlier incarnations?


My prayer for all of us is to make the most of the experiences we are given by Universe at any point in time.  It will one day go away, and new experiences will replace it.


I agree with you Eric, people who don't want to be pursued as friends or more than friends are best left to go where they want to go, for better or worse.  I personally, always hope it is for the better, but I have lived long enough already to see both positive and negative outcomes to a "harsh separation."  However, the negative outcome may have happened or even been worse if they had stayed!  An in the end, what at first may appear to be "negative" (even if an early physical death) may just be a necessary stage in that soul's continued unfoldment?

I know the way we help and love starts with ourself.  A healthy relationship, whether between friends, a romantic partner or business or group, is one where honesty  and good communication are present, and where conscious decisions and promises are both made and kept courageously.  When these things are violated or not present, there is no true relationship to speak of anyhow...

People with healthy, "perfect" childhoods with conscious, spiritually realizing parents are able to accept such arrivals and departures from life.  People who were abused, abandoned, ignored, or just not given all that their needs as growing children demanded have more trouble with these things, and this, I guesstimate, would be 99.99% of us.  Unfortunately, we do not live in anything close to a perfect, conscious world... we live in a Humanity which is still growing out of it's childish ways, which it may or may not live to see...

We do our best with what we have been given.  Anthony Robbins says that the the most common personal belief of the most successful entrepreneurs of hundreds he interviewed is: EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON WHICH SERVES US.  So, the responsibility, regardless of our past is up to us!  And when we rise to this challenge, I believe, we send ripples out to others and the whole Universe.  When we give in to self-pity, anger, jealousy, or continuing a cycle of abuse done to us as children... we perpetuate the cycle of suffering.

Real Love and Awareness is how we can break free of these shackles, which may just be a necessary stage in the Evolution of Life at the current stage and sphere of Humanity on Earth (and other planets too)!

Here's two more quotes to end my response with.  Thanks for reading!  I love you!  (:

Quote
“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.”
― Erich Fromm

Quote
“The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride."
  - Bill Hicks


And more great quotes on Love by Erich Fromm can be found here: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8788.Erich_Fromm

I highly recommend his book, The Art of Loving.
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« Reply #12 on: Jun 21, 2014 12:22 am »

Here's an Erich Fromm quote to the effect of what you ended your last post with Steve: "If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism."



Yes that is exactly what I was saying. I did not realize some one else recognized it in such an expressive way. It often takes a bit of introspection, understanding and observation to look beyond appearances into the depths of those around us. We are often put in the strange position of feeling somehow inferior or that we have somehow erred because someone has found someone else. At least there are those that would have us feel this way. After a while we realize this is just another form of abuse and is like gang behavior in paired ego. We often have to see thru these games people play. It shows a very shallow personality...A need to chop the heads off of others because of a inferiority/superiority complex.

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« Reply #13 on: Jun 21, 2014 06:27 am »

It is sometimes this way, but are response and reaction after whatever has passed has passed, is what we are left with, who we are, as we continue to evolve and change, and hopefully not become more closed off, and put a shell around our heart because we were hurt.

I think Eric described the "other person's point of view" quite well, as well as the problem of obsession and not being able to accept another as they present themselves.

Personally, I have realized, recently, that once the veils of projecting my own inner fears and HOPES onto another are gone, I am able to see a person as they actually wish to present themselves, and from there, perhaps I may have the have chance to see the deeper layers of their self, if they are willing to share them or to open up to them even for their own joy! 

People who cause suffering are often caught in a mirage of suffering from their past, and they will inevitably project this onto others, especially those close to them. 

Alone, or together with a true soul mate surrounded by other good hearted people, I wish to know myself and be honest and loving to myself and others in whatever way Universe deems useful.

If anyone's actions or intentions are truly destructive, I hope we can love them from afar and wish the growth and a way out of their psychological hell they may be perpetuating for no logical reason...
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« Reply #14 on: Jun 21, 2014 06:57 am »

It is sometimes this way, but are response and reaction after whatever has passed has passed, is what we are left with, who we are, as we continue to evolve and change, and hopefully not become more closed off, and put a shell around our heart because we were hurt.

I think Eric described the "other person's point of view" quite well, as well as the problem of obsession and not being able to accept another as they present themselves.

Personally, I have realized, recently, that once the veils of projecting my own inner fears and HOPES onto another are gone, I am able to see a person as they actually wish to present themselves, and from there, perhaps I may have the have chance to see the deeper layers of their self, if they are willing to share them or to open up to them even for their own joy! 

People who cause suffering are often caught in a mirage of suffering from their past, and they will inevitably project this onto others, especially those close to them. 

Alone, or together with a true soul mate surrounded by other good hearted people, I wish to know myself and be honest and loving to myself and others in whatever way Universe deems useful.

If anyone's actions or intentions are truly destructive, I hope we can love them from afar and wish the growth and a way out of their psychological hell they may be perpetuating for no logical reason...

go with it brother... groove on... it all stems from ourselves... That is where it originates... to show us...to feel....compassion.... empathy... what's real brother... what's from the heart.... move into that magic zone... Love the solidarity with those who care... those who make a difference... we can be the movers... the lovers... when it has dried up... we can go on loving... that's it... you came from my heart's remembrance... to keep the party goin... to keep our love unfolding... that's rite!... a magnet is drawing us in to love's embrace... we can rise above the misplaced love... we can still find the truth... it's just more subtle ... it's like long lost dreams.. seeing wonderful colors again... smelling astral fragrances... it's that tap on the shoulder.. ah that lover is standing behind us... we were just blind to his real meaning...but she is coming... she is back... i can feel it... it is just so ... so different now..
« Last Edit: Jun 21, 2014 07:07 am by Steve Hydonus » Report Spam   Logged

God Christ Gurus musical sample creations:
https://youtu.be/POW0FKCqgM8
https://www.reverbnation.com/stevehydonus music/songs<br />http://.googlepages.com/  (Personal website)
stevehydonus@aol.com
For CD\'s of music by Steve Hydonus

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