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« Reply #15 on: Apr 07, 2014 06:16 am »

Hello, well, that's quite a post. I know I can't seem to forget when someone close to me seems to turn on me, as it were.

But that hasn't happened for a long time now, I guess because I don't get too deep in that sense anymore, I think most people are working out their karma, and so because of that I can't let myself get too close to them in that sense, for the things they do may not be from the spirit. It's not who they really are. As a spirit driven soul, if I see others that way, all this outward earthly display is just God's play, of which I just have to play out my part.
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« Reply #16 on: Apr 07, 2014 09:47 am »

Yes... even when love is not returned - if you keep on loving you often find that what is returned is much different than you had expected. But I guess it goes without saying; Love is not something you can expect to know it's outcome because it directs your course and not the reverse.

A few years ago, someone very close to me was hurt by two people I knew and loved.  It was a very difficult time, to experience such betrayal of friendship, to be there to help the one I was still close to.

It was a turning point for me, because I was flooded with every such strong emotions for a month.  Anger, sadness, betrayal mostly.  I had made a decision prior to this painful event to make it a life goal to "be able to love everyone".  I knew the hardest ones to love would for me would be people who were violent towards others and people who abuse positions of power and commit different types of abuse to people on a mass scale. 

This time tested my ability to still love those who hurt someone close to me, who once called me their "best friend".

I think I have been slowly learning in this life where it is healthy to put my earthly love and where it is best to "love from afar", afterall, Love knows no bounds of Time or Space.  It is the essence of who and what we all are, the highest point of Spiritual beginnings and where we are all gradually awakening as individuals and as a species to be again.

Loss of love from another I was very close to and shared much of life with has always been hard for me.  I try achieve the same sense of Deep Love from afar, from gratitude, from remembering all of the good energy and lessons I learned. 

The loss of love from one who was like an antennae to God, to Divine Love, when we said "I love you" to each other and discussed deeper love of all, the loss of that person, that antennae or "frequency" to enter the Divine Love creates a strange illusion, that my own ability to connect to the Greater Love has become blocked.  I have also experienced this from a loss of a Guru (who was put in my life to help me by higher forces then he fully was, I would not call him a "true guru" but he helped me open doors), the loss of a religion which I worked for for 100 hours a week and was my full life, the loss of connection to a girl in high school who I connected with like no one else I had ever met due to tragic events.

I know Love is greater than all of these Human experiences of the loss of some "form" of love, even the ones which were focused on helping me to reach for the highest form of Love.

This is only my 2nd post.  I apologize for it being a bit unfocused.  I am exploring my own thoughts on Love as I write this.  Love has always been one of my favorite words and things to think about or meditate on or especially to express to others.  I've gone through periods of my life where I was so surrounded by love from so many sources everyday, it is overwhelmingly beautiful.  Perhaps, due to a lack of love from my father (who is now passed away), it's always been difficult for me to hold onto material forms of love, or I've always desired more love from people I'm close to than they are willing, or presently capable of giving.  I always open my heart fully to those I am close to.  I don't feel I have any reason to hold back from giving another I love all I have to give.  Overtime, I think I have been learning to only give as much as others receive, or perhaps just a bit more than they give me to see.

These great Gurus, like Neem Karoli Baba (who I love!) never seemed to need many or in many cases any words to express such powerful Love to their devotees and visitors. 

To me, right now, Love feels like an acceptance of who a soul is in this incarnation, right now.  Love feels like acceptance of everything as it is, as Life that we are all a part of, connected to.

I know I will continue to struggle with my ego's concept of what "right and wrong" love is.  What kind of love "I need", etc.  It makes me want to cry, because when I have others in my life who love me mutually I am so happy, though I have hardly ever known this state really.  I've only "been in love" with people who hurt me, said or did abusive things to me in the relationship.  This is something I want to change.  To seek others who would love me the way I love them.

Most of all, I want to feel free to focus on Divine Love of ALL.  I don't want these silly ego based concept to block my connection to that, and to ALL through that.

Neem Karoli Baba said that we must feed people, we must serve people to be closer to the Divine, which makes sense to me because I think we are All One truly, living in a beautiful state of individual expression on journey to remember this as we share our unique gifts with each other in this World, in this incarnation as all separate, infinite expressions of All.  This is how I intuitively see/feel Love when I let go, which the sacred space of this forum seems to have inspired me to do.

I want to focus on creating good things for this world and Loving/Giving to others, not on who or what part of this world is not being "fair" with me.  I know all things happen under a Divine Law we are all a part of, and everything happens for a reason.

Thank you for creating this sacred space on this website where I can write my thoughts.  Thank you for reading.

<3


also,

Miracle of Love is a book which includes many stories from different people collected by Ram Dass about his guru Neem Karoli Baba.  It's a very special book to me and has been very helpful the past year during hard times.  I recommend it to anyone.
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« Reply #17 on: Apr 08, 2014 11:39 am »

A few years ago, someone very close to me was hurt by two people I knew and loved.  It was a very difficult time, to experience such betrayal of friendship, to be there to help the one I was still close to.

It was a turning point for me, because I was flooded with every such strong emotions for a month.  Anger, sadness, betrayal mostly.  I had made a decision prior to this painful event to make it a life goal to "be able to love everyone".  I knew the hardest ones to love would for me would be people who were violent towards others and people who abuse positions of power and commit different types of abuse to people on a mass scale. 

This time tested my ability to still love those who hurt someone close to me, who once called me their "best friend".

I think I have been slowly learning in this life where it is healthy to put my earthly love and where it is best to "love from afar", afterall, Love knows no bounds of Time or Space.  It is the essence of who and what we all are, the highest point of Spiritual beginnings and where we are all gradually awakening as individuals and as a species to be again.

Loss of love from another I was very close to and shared much of life with has always been hard for me.  I try achieve the same sense of Deep Love from afar, from gratitude, from remembering all of the good energy and lessons I learned. 

The loss of love from one who was like an antennae to God, to Divine Love, when we said "I love you" to each other and discussed deeper love of all, the loss of that person, that antennae or "frequency" to enter the Divine Love creates a strange illusion, that my own ability to connect to the Greater Love has become blocked.  I have also experienced this from a loss of a Guru (who was put in my life to help me by higher forces then he fully was, I would not call him a "true guru" but he helped me open doors), the loss of a religion which I worked for for 100 hours a week and was my full life, the loss of connection to a girl in high school who I connected with like no one else I had ever met due to tragic events.

I know Love is greater than all of these Human experiences of the loss of some "form" of love, even the ones which were focused on helping me to reach for the highest form of Love.

This is only my 2nd post.  I apologize for it being a bit unfocused.  I am exploring my own thoughts on Love as I write this.  Love has always been one of my favorite words and things to think about or meditate on or especially to express to others.  I've gone through periods of my life where I was so surrounded by love from so many sources everyday, it is overwhelmingly beautiful.  Perhaps, due to a lack of love from my father (who is now passed away), it's always been difficult for me to hold onto material forms of love, or I've always desired more love from people I'm close to than they are willing, or presently capable of giving.  I always open my heart fully to those I am close to.  I don't feel I have any reason to hold back from giving another I love all I have to give.  Overtime, I think I have been learning to only give as much as others receive, or perhaps just a bit more than they give me to see.

These great Gurus, like Neem Karoli Baba (who I love!) never seemed to need many or in many cases any words to express such powerful Love to their devotees and visitors. 

To me, right now, Love feels like an acceptance of who a soul is in this incarnation, right now.  Love feels like acceptance of everything as it is, as Life that we are all a part of, connected to.

I know I will continue to struggle with my ego's concept of what "right and wrong" love is.  What kind of love "I need", etc.  It makes me want to cry, because when I have others in my life who love me mutually I am so happy, though I have hardly ever known this state really.  I've only "been in love" with people who hurt me, said or did abusive things to me in the relationship.  This is something I want to change.  To seek others who would love me the way I love them.

Most of all, I want to feel free to focus on Divine Love of ALL.  I don't want these silly ego based concept to block my connection to that, and to ALL through that.

Neem Karoli Baba said that we must feed people, we must serve people to be closer to the Divine, which makes sense to me because I think we are All One truly, living in a beautiful state of individual expression on journey to remember this as we share our unique gifts with each other in this World, in this incarnation as all separate, infinite expressions of All.  This is how I intuitively see/feel Love when I let go, which the sacred space of this forum seems to have inspired me to do.

I want to focus on creating good things for this world and Loving/Giving to others, not on who or what part of this world is not being "fair" with me.  I know all things happen under a Divine Law we are all a part of, and everything happens for a reason.

Thank you for creating this sacred space on this website where I can write my thoughts.  Thank you for reading.

<3


also,

Miracle of Love is a book which includes many stories from different people collected by Ram Dass about his guru Neem Karoli Baba.  It's a very special book to me and has been very helpful the past year during hard times.  I recommend it to anyone.

It was kind of you to reach out and express your feelings about love. In your post I find a genuine desire that is a laudable desire. The desire for love. It takes us sometime to understand the person behind their words and whether their need for love and their ability to manifest it is consistant. Love also needs the ability to express differences with others and the ability to see things from another person's point of view. I have seen that many times those seeking love only give half an effort. They have their own issues that keep them from keeping love alive. Also many of those who love only give a certain time frame to the effort and then give up or settle for less. They do not follow thru when love is still expressed to them. They expect a response they are familiar with. There are several responses to your post so it it is evident that at some level your need is being answered. Love is not always something we can expect to manifest on our terms. My hope is that in time you will recognize that others are responding to your needs and your 'block ' that you have mentioned.

Jitendra
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« Reply #18 on: Apr 10, 2014 05:22 am »

Thank you Jitendra and SpiritImage for your replies.

The loss of love has been something which has challenged and guided me my whole life.  Every person I've ever been close to, other than family, has stayed a time, exchanged beautiful, deep energies and ideas with me, and then left (usually the deeper and stronger the exchange the shorter the visit on the physical plane).  Not having attachment or desire for their return is a deep lesson which I feel challenge me to the core of my being, since part of me doesn't want to let go and give up on fixing whatever caused the change from more to less spiritual interactions with the other.  To truly Love them enough to go their own way, knowing I can no longer help them or they no long want my help (or to help me), the soul intersection has had it's time.  The deeper Truth, Love and Light from this intersection continues to resonate within the body of my Soul which echoes in many ways.  My Spirit wants this energy to be at peace and to be used for the prosperity of myself and others (like the totem of the Kingfisher).

The greatest feelings I've ever felt of Love I found in mysticism, meditation, and in spiritual and charitable groups.  Due to a serious foot injury I've been unable to seek such groups for a while.  I know I will be able to walk again and to meet more loving people to share Life and stories and Love with.  I am generally a very social and loving person, so being alone, reflecting for so long has been a challenge for me, but it is all a beautiful lesson I think, to learn and to grow from!  And, funnily, has brought new friends closer into my life as others have drifted away.

You write many wise words Steve.  I've read other threads on here already where you have written things which resonate with me as true and helpful.  I wish to raise my vibration to see these truths more often and not be caught in negative emotions of grief, resentment, jealousy, etc.

Thank you for creating a safe, sacred space on this website where I can write these things.

<3
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« Reply #19 on: Apr 11, 2014 01:59 am »

Thank you Jitendra and SpiritImage for your replies.

The loss of love has been something which has challenged and guided me my whole life.  Every person I've ever been close to, other than family, has stayed a time, exchanged beautiful, deep energies and ideas with me, and then left (usually the deeper and stronger the exchange the shorter the visit on the physical plane).  Not having attachment or desire for their return is a deep lesson which I feel challenge me to the core of my being, since part of me doesn't want to let go and give up on fixing whatever caused the change from more to less spiritual interactions with the other.  To truly Love them enough to go their own way, knowing I can no longer help them or they no long want my help (or to help me), the soul intersection has had it's time.  The deeper Truth, Love and Light from this intersection continues to resonate within the body of my Soul which echoes in many ways.  My Spirit wants this energy to be at peace and to be used for the prosperity of myself and others (like the totem of the Kingfisher).

The greatest feelings I've ever felt of Love I found in mysticism, meditation, and in spiritual and charitable groups.  Due to a serious foot injury I've been unable to seek such groups for a while.  I know I will be able to walk again and to meet more loving people to share Life and stories and Love with.  I am generally a very social and loving person, so being alone, reflecting for so long has been a challenge for me, but it is all a beautiful lesson I think, to learn and to grow from!  And, funnily, has brought new friends closer into my life as others have drifted away.

You write many wise words Steve.  I've read other threads on here already where you have written things which resonate with me as true and helpful.  I wish to raise my vibration to see these truths more often and not be caught in negative emotions of grief, resentment, jealousy, etc.

Thank you for creating a safe, sacred space on this website where I can write these things.

<3

You came at a good time for us and me in partcular. I am trying to shed some deep emotions created by such intersections of which you have spoken. It is not easy. We often find that we have had quite deep encounters with others and when they choose to cut off the relationship or have nothing else to do with you it is difficult for those who keep loving even though we may have to see love differently... now... and in retrospect to what may have happened.

We often find that being alone has many benefits. Being with someone else is a time to celebrate the beauty of expression of love between two people or more. But being alone... we learn how to go into the deepest depths of ourselves. We find that the love we find there is forever stored in our spiritual account. We learn to expand our love to all beings and friends become more important. We learn how to share our love beyond our small sphere and the circle around us expands. Our understanding of divine love expands beyond the personal. Other people come into our lives and help us with this expanded notion of love.

I believe that you are someone I already know and you are hiding your identity at this time.. for reasons I have yet to find out.
It is all good. Express yourself in the way you choose. This vibration that you emit... it shows longing for something that has been left behind. We only can pray for those we have loved and still love. The love we give. It may not come back in any way we expected but what we have given... what love we have given.. is sure to return in some form. We just cannot be attached to our own expectations.
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« Reply #20 on: Apr 15, 2014 12:43 am »

Thank you Jitendra and SpiritImage for your replies.

The loss of love has been something which has challenged and guided me my whole life.  Every person I've ever been close to, other than family, has stayed a time, exchanged beautiful, deep energies and ideas with me, and then left (usually the deeper and stronger the exchange the shorter the visit on the physical plane).  Not having attachment or desire for their return is a deep lesson which I feel challenge me to the core of my being, since part of me doesn't want to let go and give up on fixing whatever caused the change from more to less spiritual interactions with the other.  To truly Love them enough to go their own way, knowing I can no longer help them or they no long want my help (or to help me), the soul intersection has had it's time.  The deeper Truth, Love and Light from this intersection continues to resonate within the body of my Soul which echoes in many ways.  My Spirit wants this energy to be at peace and to be used for the prosperity of myself and others (like the totem of the Kingfisher).

The greatest feelings I've ever felt of Love I found in mysticism, meditation, and in spiritual and charitable groups.  Due to a serious foot injury I've been unable to seek such groups for a while.  I know I will be able to walk again and to meet more loving people to share Life and stories and Love with.  I am generally a very social and loving person, so being alone, reflecting for so long has been a challenge for me, but it is all a beautiful lesson I think, to learn and to grow from!  And, funnily, has brought new friends closer into my life as others have drifted away.

You write many wise words Steve.  I've read other threads on here already where you have written things which resonate with me as true and helpful.  I wish to raise my vibration to see these truths more often and not be caught in negative emotions of grief, resentment, jealousy, etc.

Thank you for creating a safe, sacred space on this website where I can write these things.

<3

Your thread continues to resonate with me also as it has a longing that is easy to relate to. I sincerely hope your foot injury brings you closer to us as I appreciate your thread and your coming here very much!
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« Reply #21 on: Apr 15, 2014 04:13 am »

"Ordinary love is selfish, darkly rooted in desires and satisfactions. Divine love is without condition, without boundary, without change. The flux of the human heart is gone forever at the transfixing touch of pure love." - Sri Yukteswar
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« Reply #22 on: Apr 16, 2014 06:49 pm »

Thank you Jitendra and SpiritImage for your replies.

The loss of love has been something which has challenged and guided me my whole life.  Every person I've ever been close to, other than family, has stayed a time, exchanged beautiful, deep energies and ideas with me, and then left (usually the deeper and stronger the exchange the shorter the visit...


Perhaps it is because some of them, you sent away or ignored them, the people that loved you the most.

Jitendra
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« Reply #23 on: Apr 17, 2014 12:44 am »

Thank you Jitendra and SpiritImage for your replies.

The loss of love has been something which has challenged and guided me my whole life.  Every person I've ever been close to, other than family, has stayed a time, exchanged beautiful, deep energies and ideas with me, and then left (usually the deeper and stronger the exchange the shorter the visit...


Perhaps it is because some of them, you sent away or ignored them, the people that loved you the most.

Jitendra

I don't think so.  I don't think I have a habit or compulsion to sabotage relationships, but I think I have drawn many people close to me over the years who do.  I grew up with a father who was very emotionally cold, distant and left his body at an early age due to all of the mental and emotional distress he lived with, I think, which culminated in heart failure.

I have for years attracted and been attracted to people since who could be described as "damaged", and over the years, I've come to the conclusion that this is a continued desire from my childhood to "help my father" through a girl or guy, lover or friend or very close friend who shares similar negative and neurotic qualities with my Dad.  I seem to have attracted these people, some more damaged than others.  Girlfriend who cheats on me a month into the relationship, or another who relapses on drugs a month in or friend who says she's too ashamed of not being more centered to talk to me and would ignore me for months and then apologize and sound embarrassed.  Paradoxically, I also think the introduction of "damage" for many people I've been close to, gives them a special desire to awaken more than most.  This has certainly been true, and continues to be true for me.

I think this is a wavelength (needing to fix/help someone) I am growing out of.  I still love everyone I've loved with all my heart and want to remain open to their spiritual unfoldment, awakening, but to remain heartbroken by betrayal of friendship or hurt by any other mean action by another is not a very useful emotion to remain focused on.  I'm focusing on my own future, my own endeavors, my own spiritual unfoldment.  I know, the best way to truly help others is to just be oneself.  And, I know the "brief" intersection between myself and anyone else, where a deep friendship was formed and great heights were experienced together has a value which must continue to ripple, regardless of what comes after.

I've heard and/or seen from many of those I've been closest to that they "hurt those closest to them."  Whenever I feel I may have hurt or ignored someone close to me, I seek resolution and healing very quickly and have found great frustration and suffering when the other party does not want to speak or resolve a problem. 

I don't think I know you Steve.  Someone else invited me to check out this site a while ago.

I don't feel much emotional suffering now.  I'm focused on positive creation and personal growth, and always Love in the ways it currently manifests in my life.  You are right, friendship is a blessing.

I don't want to identify myself in my mind as a "victim" of someone saying mean things to me or letting me down in a big way or not being there for me.  I want to let go of all negative feelings like that and focus on love, forgiveness and gratitude for everything I have to be grateful for!

Perhaps this thread is about other things now.  To bring it back to topic...

I think Love IS forgiveness and gratitude, and without these two things deeper Love cannot be known.

I find the teachings of Neem Karoli Baba on Love and the Heart to be very insightful and to resonate as True with me.  He says it is best to not "close your heart" to anyone, including those who have caused me or others suffering, but I think it is a good idea to let go and stay away from such people, unless they sincerely want to reconnect, speak.

My injury is a beautiful experience.  At one point, one night months ago, I thought I might not survive or have done irreparable damage to myself from the "medicine" the doctor prescribed me.  In these moments of the greatest pain my body had ever felt, when I thought I might be leaving my body and my friends came to help me, I thought of the one who I considered my "best friend" who told me I was her best friend and that we would always be friends, I realized if she would not talk to me when I thought I might be dying, there is no good reason for that, so heartbreaking.  Though I survived and am now on the way to full recovery, it almost feels as though the one I had been closest to in this incarnation has died, and I've been grieving for a long time.

I now realize this is only one way to view things.  My injury is a beautiful experience and my suffering the greatest lesson, to help me know what I must let go of the most to help myself and others in this Life, which is my true goal.  I want to help this world, and I know it is an illusion to think I must have any certain individual or group of people remain close or at all in my life to do my work, to help others and to continue my own spiritual unfoldment.

I hope others can see some reflection of themselves through my words, they are honest and sincere from my own own perspective, though I know much of what they describe could also be called "illusions" or "false love."  This is what I am trying to let go of, false love and illusions, which I think my injury has given me much encouragement to do so.  Coming "close to death" has led to me re-evaluating my life deeper than ever before, and want to be fearless with my honesty about myself and towards others in any way which I think may help them. 

I think Love is letting go of all ideas of Love, and false love and illusions along with it, and opening up to the greater, infinite reality of what Love is.

I think we are Love, in our truest definition of who we are and what binds us.  God is Love.  All is Love.  We are a reflection of God.  We are Love.

Much Love

Namaste
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« Reply #24 on: Apr 17, 2014 01:36 am »

Much to digest here. i believe that often our mind puts pictures together about people who come in our life and they are not always accurate. However your secrecy about who you are, where you live, what your sex is and your interests makes things difficult for others especially when you divulge so much emotional background. Without being judgemental I will venture to say that it is a very unusual way of getting to know someone. It leaves me feeling somewhat anxious yet uncertain how to respond.
I do appreciate your telling me you do not know me but still i have this feeling that somehow i do know you. It is not that i do not trust you it is just are definition of knowing one another may not be entirely the same.

Jitendra
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« Reply #25 on: Apr 17, 2014 01:56 am »

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« Reply #26 on: Apr 17, 2014 08:24 am »

Do you guys know each other? Come off it. Do y'all have some sort of past issues? If so quit playing games and say what you need to say. If you don't know each other then, sorry Kingfisher...
...part of a quote from Brock




hey Brock you make it sound very difficult. Is it really? Perhaps we do make it that way.  Which can make us frustrated.  Still i am  interested. There are some similarities with my life.... something i resonate with... a sincere and open expression and need for love. You can't force someone to be more open if they do not want to be. There is a time for everything. I appreciate your view. Really I do. It's all good.

We appear to have a wonderful new member here. i just don't want to scare someone else off. Yes sometimes people can be reactive and somewhat sensitive as we have spoken about. Yet it takes all types to make the big picture.  Often i miss these types as well. Not so long ago i felt much love for a women that turned out to be that way.Yet my love didn't change. What can you do? You just learn more patience wth yourself and others.

J.
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« Reply #27 on: Apr 17, 2014 09:53 pm »

 
I hope others can see some

Quote from: kingfish
I hope others can see some reflection of themselves through my words, they are honest and sincere from my own own perspective, though I know much of what they describe could also be called "illusions" or "false love."  This is what I am trying to let go of, false love and illusions, which I think my injury has given me much encouragement to do so.  Coming "close to death" has led to me re-evaluating my life deeper than ever before, and want to be fearless with my honesty about myself and towards others in any way which I think may help them

r111 link=topic=2940.msg15774#msg15774 date=1397684695]
Thank you Jitendra and SpiritImage for your replies.

The loss of love has been something which has challenged and guided me my whole life.  Every person I've ever been close to, other than family, has stayed a time, exchanged beautiful, deep energies and ideas with me, and then left (usually the deeper and stronger the exchange the shorter the visit...


Perhaps it is because some of them, you sent away or ignored them, the people that loved you the most.

Jitendra

I don't think so.  I don't think I have a habit or compulsion to sabotage relationships, but I think I have drawn many people close to me over the years who do.  I grew up with a father who was very emotionally cold, distant and left his body at an early age due to all of the mental and emotional distress he lived with, I think, which culminated in heart failure.

I have for years attracted and been attracted to people since who could be described as "damaged", and over the years, I've come to the conclusion that this is a continued desire from my childhood to "help my father" through a girl or guy, lover or friend or very close friend who shares similar negative and neurotic qualities with my Dad.  I seem to have attracted these people, some more damaged than others.  Girlfriend who cheats on me a month into the relationship, or another who relapses on drugs a month in or friend who says she's too ashamed of not being more centered to talk to me and would ignore me for months and then apologize and sound embarrassed.  Paradoxically, I also think the introduction of "damage" for many people I've been close to, gives them a special desire to awaken more than most.  This has certainly been true, and continues to be true for me.

I think this is a wavelength (needing to fix/help someone) I am growing out of.  I still love everyone I've loved with all my heart and want to remain open to their spiritual unfoldment, awakening, but to remain heartbroken by betrayal of friendship or hurt by any other mean action by another is not a very useful emotion to remain focused on.  I'm focusing on my own future, my own endeavors, my own spiritual unfoldment.  I know, the best way to truly help others is to just be oneself.  And, I know the "brief" intersection between myself and anyone else, where a deep friendship was formed and great heights were experienced together has a value which must continue to ripple, regardless of what comes after.

I've heard and/or seen from many of those I've been closest to that they "hurt those closest to them."  Whenever I feel I may have hurt or ignored someone close to me, I seek resolution and healing very quickly and have found great frustration and suffering when the other party does not want to speak or resolve a problem. 

I don't think I know you Steve.  Someone else invited me to check out this site a while ago.

I don't feel much emotional suffering now.  I'm focused on positive creation and personal growth, and always Love in the ways it currently manifests in my life.  You are right, friendship is a blessing.

I don't want to identify myself in my mind as a "victim" of someone saying mean things to me or letting me down in a big way or not being there for me.  I want to let go of all negative feelings like that and focus on love, forgiveness and gratitude for everything I have to be grateful for!

Perhaps this thread is about other things now.  To bring it back to topic...

I think Love IS forgiveness and gratitude, and without these two things deeper Love cannot be known.

I find the teachings of Neem Karoli Baba on Love and the Heart to be very insightful and to resonate as True with me.  He says it is best to not "close your heart" to anyone, including those who have caused me or others suffering, but I think it is a good idea to let go and stay away from such people, unless they sincerely want to reconnect, speak.

My injury is a beautiful experience.  At one point, one night months ago, I thought I might not survive or have done irreparable damage to myself from the "medicine" the doctor prescribed me.  In these moments of the greatest pain my body had ever felt, when I thought I might be leaving my body and my friends came to help me, I thought of the one who I considered my "best friend" who told me I was her best friend and that we would always be friends, I realized if she would not talk to me when I thought I might be dying, there is no good reason for that, so heartbreaking.  Though I survived and am now on the way to full recovery, it almost feels as though the one I had been closest to in this incarnation has died, and I've been grieving for a long time.

I now realize this is only one way to view things.  My injury is a beautiful experience and my suffering the greatest lesson, to help me know what I must let go of the most to help myself and others in this Life, which is my true goal.  I want to help this world, and I know it is an illusion to think I must have any certain individual or group of people remain close or at all in my life to do my work, to help others and to continue my own spiritual unfoldment.

I hope others can see some reflection of themselves through my words, they are honest and sincere from my own own perspective, though I know much of what they describe could also be called "illusions" or "false love."  This is what I am trying to let go of, false love and illusions, which I think my injury has given me much encouragement to do so.  Coming "close to death" has led to me re-evaluating my life deeper than ever before, and want to be fearless with my honesty about myself and towards others in any way which I think may help them. 

I think Love is letting go of all ideas of Love, and false love and illusions along with it, and opening up to the greater, infinite reality of what Love is.

Much Love

Namaste

I suppose in many ways listening to you is like looking in a mirror. You mirror many of my own experiences and attitudes. Perhaps that is why you seem so familiar. You and Brock both follow the teachings of  Neem Karoli Baba. I wonder if he stressed meditation? If so where/what are his methods?

This a qoute from you:







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« Reply #28 on: Apr 18, 2014 03:01 am »

When we let others go who do not have the ability to express joy we begin to regain our own inner joy. When people that are close to us finally lay down their cards... we then have to play them. Often this means the game is over.

In terms of our own relationships. ... Water seeks its own level simply means quality people of integrity find other quality people of integrity and vice versa.

Jitendra

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« Reply #29 on: Apr 18, 2014 03:30 am »

It's not exactly right to say I "follow" the "teachings" of Neem Karoli Baba. For one thing, he didn't really give any teachings formally. His presence and who he was - was his teaching. He changed people by opening their hearts. His main advice was to constantly repeat the name "ram". The activities at his ashram are traditional hindu rituals like chanting the hanuman chalisa, aarti and puja and serving prasad.
« Last Edit: Apr 18, 2014 03:31 am by brock » Report Spam   Logged

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