Hello.
I'm not sure how to define this experience and wanted to discuss because, i'm sure- after having this awareness, my experience was not healthy and perhaps someone out there reading this can contribute from a spiritual perspective.
It was Sunday Morning. As a part of celebrating my Mom's Birthday I took her and the family out to Breakfast. She wanted to go to some place none of us have been to before. When I heard where the place was located, I made the comment that we'd be standing in line surrounded by a bunch of hipsters waiting to be seated(a pretty negative and judgmental notion. One i'm not proud of).
Sure enough, when we arrived there was a line outside and a bunch of young and vibrant colored people. Actually the weather was nice and we could drink coffe while we waited. I couldn't help notice though, a very timid and anxious feeling overcome my being when I was placed awkwardly in the center of the line. I noticed others looking at me very curiously. I did feel a little out of place. But, was I being self conscious ? Or was I feeling the judgement of those scanning me ?
This is a silly post right ? I'm sure it is that I was self conscious- I had set some kind of negative definition before arriving there and so when I got there- I was looking for what it was I had feared. Being out of place and feeling overwhelmed by the hipster scene. It's silly that I'd be afraid too... Why am I scared of young, beautiful and vibrant colored people ? Lol.
So as I felt this, in the moment, I tried to ignore it- And focus on my family. After all that's what I was there for. And slowly but surely as time progressed the oncomers looks seemed to fade away... As did my attention to all of that nonsense.
I haven't been so obviously self conscious in a long time. I wonder why then I'd been so judgmental of myself and those around me ((?))
What are your takes on this ? Can you offer any help with self judgement and how to be more confident or even better- un caring towards others opinions ?
Personally, I struggle with this all the time via Facebook. Seeing other people post negative or cynical opinions and getting so many "likes" and comments of approval, or people who are very popular for sharing such cynical opinions or people who seem to be celebrate for just "being cool" and things like this. It is difficult to not feel judgmental, and then to not judge myself negatively for not garnering more attention for the things I wish to share via Facebook.
Then I think it's all silly, these feelings of judgement and I will usually meditate and then see things more evenly.
I do think this all must stem, at least in myself, from self-confidence. I feel I am best able to overcome these feelings when I am unafraid and follow my intuition in a situation. I've found that when I express myself honestly and openly to another or others in a situation, I will receive an honest response, and this is all I can ask for. But I think when you KNOW you are acting well yourself and just being TRUE to yourself, it is much easier to not be bothered by anyone's dirty looks or unkind words.
If you are at a restaurant to spend time with your family, then that's what you are there for, and if anyone judge's you for any superficial reason (i.e. you don't look or dress like them), then they are living in reality that is lower awareness and likely that kind of superficial viewing and judging of others will cause them problems in their life in many ways, which might be there to teach karmic lessons that they're soul seeks?
No need to ever feel bad or judge yourself too harshly Eric, life is too short to let others bring you down for just being yourself!
I think as we grow, and learn more and more what our dharmic role is in this incarnation, we become more and more confidant with what our "sacred work" is to do on this Earth and the lower vibrational "mental games" of others becomes less and less of something we are concerned with.
I'm certainly not entirely there myself yet, but like the duck or beaver, I am working towards my goals and I am doing my best to become better and better at staying focused on my work and spiritual dharma. This has made it easier for me to not be much effected by the negativity of others.
Live and let live! Everyone deserves Love and Respect I think! I think those who learn to Love all equally as Reflections of ALL, like the beautiful Neem Karoli Baba, do not fret very much what others think of them!
