Thanks for sharing some of your life with us Irena. I would be interested to know some of your life experiences in Russia and to know how you have arrived at the views expressed in your last post on free will/determinism.
I felt similar feelings to what you described below. I just lay here for a while and could not even get up to meditate. Being alone sometimes gives us depth. When i see your post... i see it there. I started thinking about all the different people that have blessed my life as I was laying here. Sometimes we need time to just reflect. It's O.K.
There are many opportunities in our life. We just have to recognize them when they come. For instance; Amma will be in Detroit in a month or so. Now there is a person who can change your life! All for now Irena and thank-you for sharing!
I am in Ohio, originally from Russia, been here for over half of my life, so this is home now. For years, nothing interests me, but reading, writing and talking about God and spiritual subjects. Actually, reading is off the list now. For some reason, i am practically unable to read. it's become boring. but this is new. before, i was swallowing the books, mainly spiritual. i have quite a library at home. These days, i open a book, read two lines, a paragraph in the best case and I am gone, away in the no land of "doing nothing" as I call it.
So, this is pretty much my only interest and I sort of feel guilty about not wanting to do anything. But i do have to work and perform household duties as all of us. My son has grown up and lives separately, but my mother who is partially disabled has moved in with us (my husband and me) now and I am taking care of her. I have a cat and the fish. Even thought I am a Spirit, I serve the flesh. is not this sad? God has become a slave to His own creation, Steve.
sorry for the pessimistic mood. I am doing a particularly boring thing at work and it depresses me. generally, I am an optimist. at least, this is what I remember about myself
