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God is near

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Irina
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« on: Oct 24, 2014 06:51 pm »

Thanks for sharing some of your life with us  Irena. I would be interested to know some of your life experiences in Russia and to know how you have arrived at the views expressed in your last post on free will/determinism.
I hope you can share some of yours too, Steve. About life experiences in Russia, I am not sure what interests you. Do you have particular questions that you would like me to answer? It was just a regular life. I grew up in a non-religious family in a big city (Moscow). The majority of families in Russia were and still are non-religious due to the fact that religion has been prohibited for a long time. It's not any more, but it was at the time I was growing up. So, there word "God" was not used in my family, aside from the idioms, like "thank God" that have become a part of the language and you don't even pay attention to the words in them. I came to know this word and the One whom it represents when I was already here, in my thirties. And knowing Him brought the happiness into my life. But then, I came to know myself and that on one hand brought the freedom and on the other hand confused the heck out of my mind. the confusion came because I came to know myself as the only living being that lives in everything, the beautiful and the ugly, the human and the squirrel, the leave and the stone, the wall of the house and the pavement, the animate and the inanimate. This knowledge was a result of an experience, not just something intellectually obtained and because of that it is beyond any doubt. So now I struggle between two worlds, the world where exist God and I and we love each other and the world where only I exist and I love myself. These two worlds represent the paradox that is expressed by Jesus in the bible, when he said "I and the Father are one" and yet, "My Father is bigger than I". It is quite a paradox for the mind to swallow and my mind still chokes on it. Oh yes, and the is the third world, the one where I exist along with the other creatures that are completely separate from me, with their own points of view and their own attention and opinions. It is not very easy to keep your sanity leaving in this triple paradox. sometimes, when i think too deep on these subjects, I begin to feel like I am loosing it. so I stop the thinking and just feel. when I feel, when i simply be, simply hang there, soar in the unknowing, there is no conflict. whether I feel God or feel myself it feels good and it makes me calm and serene. it only when I try to rationalize and understand and sort things out that the confusion comes. so, it seems that it is best to just stop thinking, but can we? this is where the meditation helps. meditation is simply feeling, at least it is to me.

Jesus said, "Those who seek should not stop seeking until they find. When they find, they will be disturbed. When they are disturbed, they will marvel, and will reign over all. [And after they have reigned they will rest.]"

Jesus replies: "When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner as the outer, and the upper as the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male shall not be male, and the female shall not be female: . . . then you will enter [the kingdom]."

male - Spirit (Brahman)
female - soul (jiva)

"I and the Father are One"
"jiva is Brahman"

I felt similar feelings to what you described below. I just lay here for a while and could not even get up to meditate. Being alone sometimes gives us depth. When i see your post... i see it there. I started thinking about all the different people that have blessed my life as I was laying here. Sometimes we need time to just reflect. It's O.K.
yes, thank you, I appreciate the consolation.

There are many opportunities in our life. We just have to recognize them when they come. For instance; Amma will be in Detroit in a month or so. Now there is a person who can change your life! All for now Irena and thank-you for sharing!
for some reason, I don't feel any attraction to Amma. not sure why.




The word of God is in my heart,
It's flowing all the time.
My soul and God are not apart,
But one as clock and chime.

The voice of God speaks through my voice,
His eyes see through my eyes.
He is the one who makes the choice
Of virtue or the vice.

The life of God is so vast,
It simply has no end.
And I am His eternal quest,
He's my eternal friend.

The word of God? I am His word,
His sentence and His book.
I am the story that He told,
The road, that He took.

It's hard for mind to comprehend
The things I've written here.
So let the reign of reason end,
And let the love's come near.

« Last Edit: Oct 25, 2014 07:36 am by Irina » Report Spam   Logged

“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.”
― Abraham Joshua Heschel

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