Control in Relationships

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

I have found that at times I’ve been involved with people who would like to have control in relationships. Usually it takes me time to recognize it. But there comes a time I feel under their influence to the extent that I have to back away. It is as though I’m being manipulated to respond in the way that satisfies them. And if I do not there is a power struggle. I think it important to recognize the energies at play in a relationship. It can be somewhat like an addiction when we loose our identity and let someone create an identity for us. It is difficult enough to let go over our own personal desires to merge with a higher spiritual embrace. But when we also recognize that others would like us to bend to their controlling will we need  to ask ourselves; Where is this taking me? While relationships can be very wonderful, controlling relationships can also be very emotionally draining. Then ofcourse what we see in others is also quite often in ourselves. So what extent do we attempt to control others? That question can also not be ignored. To what extent do we ourselves seek control of circumstances and of ourselves?

Yet when we recognize that someone in our life is attempting to control the outcome of our relationship with them, it helps us determine our future desires and direction with them. This is helpful when attempting to make decisions about the people who play important roles in our lives. When control factors enter a relationship it is difficult for them to creatively flow. When relationships have spontaneity they are more reflective of spiritual growth and evolution. Dynamic relationships spring from letting them flow and evolve separate from ego fixations and static blocks that do not allow the conduct of current to energize relationships. As sensitive beings we may suddenly sense  a paralysis that is stagnation to personal growth. We recognize that the response or unresponsiveness of others and ourselves, to changing circumstances, means stagnation in opportunities of growth.

[guest587]

Hi Steve, you asked me to reply here- I would like to say my initial reply in the other thread was also in attempt to address this post as well, which is only an opinion formed from my personal experience and limited understanding. I can't tell you what's what... But I think Ego is definitely involved here. Two Ego's at that.

That being said, I think boundaries are healthy. If you can't communicate boundaries in your relationships, it is not a healthy relationship. It might be an exercise for the Self- to open up the throat chakra, and explore what it means to speak up. Communication really does help. You set a boundary here at the portal, and it hasn't created any stagnation. I'm still here and we've shifted our energy from politics and personal opinions around them back to spiritual interest, music and learning more about consciousness.

My Ego at the time really blew things out of proportion didn't it? We start taking offense because we start making things about our self and the need to be right. But we managed to navigate these boundaries safely and hold on to what really mattered.

I read something over from the GTC just recently. I'm going to share it because I believe you are open to celestial influence, and it made me think you might find some benefit form it. I believe James accurately captured what we're going through on Earth at this time... I'm just going to quote it in full- and I also want you to know I am often sharing links from the spiritualportal on other forums with redirect links back to here. So in this way I am just connecting communities to each other.

Here you are,

This reading certainly seams true at this time in context to world events.

Hexagram -36-  EARTH over FIRE-   --SUPPRESSION--

THE PATTERN IMAGE/ENERGY
EARTH over FIRE; The ascending clarity of Fire is veiled and constrained by the descending Earth, forming a state of Suppression. This image denotes a time of darkness when oppressive forces obscure the beauty and clarity of light.
It implies that you are facing a formidable countermovement concerning the object of your intention.

THE GUIDANCE
Antagonistic forces are working to suppress the clarity of your vision and attainment of your goals. For the time being, it is in your best interests to accept the situation. Conceal your vision and maintain a low profile.
So long as you conceal your inner light, it cannot be extinguished. Until conditions are more favorable, remain yielding and compliant externally, while maintaining your inner vision and convictions.
Never compromise or lost sight of your goals and principles. Such attitude will sustain the fire of clear mind in even the darkest of times.

THE RHYTHMIC PATTERN/ENERGY
This rhythm resonates inner clarity and outer compliance.
Resonating to this rhythm, the drummer engenders the qualities needed to preserver and transcend this time of darkness

THE LINES
(1)- Though you may suffer condemnation and deprivation, do not compromise your principles.
(2)- Do not despair if your influence and effectiveness have been impaired by injury. Instead, muster your remaining strength in a selfless effort to aid others who are at risk.
(3)- You can now confront and readily overcome any constraint. Proceed with caution once oppressive forces have been neutralised, for their pattern of influence will take time to dissipate.
(4)- With steadfast inner clarity, you can readily perceive the hopelessness of the situation and safely extricate yourself.
(5)- If you are unable to withdraw from a compromising situation, then conceal your true feelings and acquiesce to the dominant powers.
(6)- A dark force will eventually consume itself and perish, for it has no inner light to sustain it.

Play smartly!

~James Moffatt
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/omtalks/healing-circle-i-ching-divination-energy-drumming-t1663-s180.html#p27314

As you can see... it's all opportunity for growth. How you decide to handle it in the end, if you're using your Heart, then it's the right way to handle at this time. Everything else is noise.

Cheers ~

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Eric I am ok with the transitions you have made and your ‘present’ service as an emissary between sites. You can also express gratitude to the ‘thought adjusters’ you have shared with us. I have found some personal advice helpful in their essays. Somehow you find time to contribute a lot to this site. We are grateful for that.

Many times, it is very difficult for others to recognize their own ego. It is quite an admission and understanding when someone has the humility to not only recognize it but to express their struggle with it. I also have had similar struggles and have had to apologize, for instance, for my unwelcome thoughts and forwardness.  I cannot say that I am able to express my short comings in quite the same manner as you have. Although here we are still soul brothers after over a decade…. This Life.

Jitendra