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Boundaries


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kingfisher111
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« on: Jul 04, 2016 07:58 pm »

There is a healthy balance between setting boundaries and being open to others that could take many lifetimes to master.

The ego needs protection just as much as it needs to be let go of, too much of either too quickly can result in emotional catastrophe.

Unless, after lifetimes of spiritual practice (perhaps), a Saint like Ramana Maharshi can find the Peace and Clarity to see the truth of it and be open to sharing it with all for what is most likely the final incarnation as a Human.

For the rest of us "mere mortals", I think it is a very important lesson to trust your intuition to know when it is good to open up to others and be vulnerable and when it is good to establish healthy boundaries, so as to not jeopardize either person's Peace and personal journey...
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« Reply #1 on: Jul 04, 2016 08:56 pm »

There is a healthy balance between setting boundaries and being open to others that could take many lifetimes to master.

The ego needs protection just as much as it needs to be let go of, too much of either too quickly can result in emotional catastrophe.

Unless, after lifetimes of spiritual practice (perhaps), a Saint like Ramana Maharshi can find the Peace and Clarity to see the truth of it and be open to sharing it with all for what is most likely the final incarnation as a Human.

For the rest of us "mere mortals", I think it is a very important lesson to trust your intuition to know when it is good to open up to others and be vulnerable and when it is good to establish healthy boundaries, so as to not jeopardize either person's Peace and personal journey...

The thoughts of those around us r so strong that they radiate outwards and effect everything around them. There r few people who r immune to this. It takes a high degree of development. Sometimes it is much better to confess to your ability to cope and your tendency to b influenced. i do not believe it is spiritually advantages to eliminate people from our lives but we certainly can curtail contact with them.

Today a friend of mine has a son with several children and a wife that screamed at him, shut the hood of the van they had and told him to get his things and get out. First it affected all the people in the drive way, then the people in the neighborhood, my friends, me and someone else i told about it. U see her venom effectively worked its way thru a mass of people. These people r best to stay as far as one can.... away from! We can tell how people affect us by being away from them a while and see if other doors open and if we have changed being away from their presence. There r others that we realize how much it is helpful to have them around.
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« Reply #2 on: Jul 05, 2016 02:43 am »

There's a wide spectrum of types of people and reasons to be around them or not.

I think if we close our eyes, and find a moment of peace within, and then trust our intuition to guide us, it is clear who and who not to be around, for our own well being.

Sometimes, you have no choice be to be someone's neighbor, or see someone at work who you don't get along with, etc. so finding the right balance of politeness, friendliness and healthy boundary varies from situation to situation...


If we put ourselves "out there" too much with the wrong people (for us, at least), we could get hurt and then feel less safe in putting ourselves "out there" anytime soon with others.


I don't think it's too important to worry about this stuff, though, actually... Things have tendency to work themselves out in a way that is harmonious for all parties, as long as we don't feed into negative energy or drama...

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« Reply #3 on: Nov 18, 2016 07:01 pm »

nice discussion here art and steve.

steering the course a bit, i was curious...

is it selfish to live blissfully around others who are presently suffering? feelings of bliss, euphoria or ecstasy and residing in this state while those around us suffer...

is this wrong?
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« Reply #4 on: Nov 18, 2016 07:10 pm »

nice discussion here art and steve.

steering the course a bit, i was curious...

is it selfish to live blissfully around others who are presently suffering? feelings of bliss, euphoria or ecstasy and residing in this state while those around us suffer...

is this wrong?

Everyone has the option of feeling good most people do not choose it. Nor do they work on it. These higher states are only possible through meditation not through the physical and sensory apparatus. Most people do not even look in that direction. That is what this forum is all about. Giving free information about being happy and comparing notes on our experiences. We can not force people to find bliss, euphoria and ecstasy. Many people choose their own suffering. Should we be miserable because others make it their calling? We are here available to others. How many are really taking an interest? i believe what Art was originally referring to (let me know if i am in error here) is that we also have are ups and downs. Why expose yourself to the negativity of others when it may influence us and someone is making no effort to change that negative outlook or the abuse of relationships that they perpetrate? We may even find ourselves enabling bad habits in ourselves and others. Once we make a real effort at spiritual practice there will always be people seeking our help. So there is no need to look for problems for ourselves. The world is full of them.
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« Reply #5 on: Nov 18, 2016 07:33 pm »

yes, thank you for your quick reply. i understand my question does not pertain to what Art is describing. i wasn't sure if it was necessary to create a separate thread because i believe being humble around those who are suffering may be a form of boundary. i'm not sure how much sense it makes now but regardless, this morning i felt like i was tapped into a very peaceful state but there is a bit of chaos here at work today. i've already been challenged by someone who hurts and i wasn't sure if i needed to "tone down" or not.
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« Reply #6 on: Nov 18, 2016 08:00 pm »

yes, thank you for your quick reply. i understand my question does not pertain to what Art is describing. i wasn't sure if it was necessary to create a separate thread because i believe being humble around those who are suffering may be a form of boundary. i'm not sure how much sense it makes now but regardless, this morning i felt like i was tapped into a very peaceful state but there is a bit of chaos here at work today. i've already been challenged by someone who hurts and i wasn't sure if i needed to "tone down" or not.

We can feel good and then a few hours later be thrown into the cement mixer of of material life. i am looking for solutions for myself and others. That is why i am going to see Amma this weekend! i think you may have a point about 'toning it down'. Sometimes it is better to be as invisible as possible to avoid confrontations with others and their negativity.
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« Reply #7 on: Nov 18, 2016 10:58 pm »

According to advaita, the bliss of a jnani is a state wherein it is known that there are no others and there is no such thing as suffering. In that state, nothing is good or bad, right or wrong. It is as it is. Complete, whole, with no parts out of place. God's will, if you like.

If that is your state then you wouldn't have the question. If you think that isn't your state, you render help when you can. But beware if you think of yourself as a helper it strengthens the false self image. 
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« Reply #8 on: Nov 18, 2016 11:58 pm »

thanks brock.

much of the chaos spurred this morning has transformed for the better. thanks for the caution. i'd also caution you guys to be careful of a womans fury. lol  Cheesy
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« Reply #9 on: Nov 19, 2016 12:54 am »

i'd also caution you guys to be careful of a womans fury. lol  Cheesy

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Steve Hydonus
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« Reply #10 on: Nov 19, 2016 04:58 am »

Love your illustrations Brock!
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