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reflecting on my last relationship

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Author Topic: reflecting on my last relationship  (Read 780 times)
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guest88
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« on: Feb 14, 2018 06:46 am »

I have experienced what I thought to be nudges from Universe, encouraging me to engage more in this relationship with my ex. It may have been that the feelings were never truly reciprocated but I am beginning to think it doesn't matter. Today I learned from a wise man when you start to count the flaws on another you begin to lose the feeling of Love towards them. That's not what I'm talking about now though.... I remember Golden wing trinkets... Unique synchronicities, I found a journal she gifted me years ago before we ever moved in together... In it were my thoughts and recollections of our talks. I saw my excitement and my devotion. Maybe this is all the Universe had been encouraging me to the entire time. To my OWN capacity for these things. The Golden Wing, the lady bug... the moments we did share in PURE love. Let her be the Beloved. She helped awaken my Heart. The Universe also helped awaken my heart. MAYBE God is my Mistress. At one moment in time there was an interest, be it years ago... And so it was for the previous girls who still hold a special place in my heart. I've really only had three love interest growing up. Two of which weren't even a relationship- just moments shared... All three of which have left my life presently. Two of the three have completely blocked me... One had tried coming back and we were quickly compromised, there was no longer a yearning or desire just a counting of what should be owed or deserved, terrible miscommunication and miscalculation... Flaws were counted on both of us. My most recent doesn't want me to bring up the times we've shared, the times a fire was LIT... So while God exist in us, our mortal dualistic shells... It was God/Universe showing me the level of devotion, the moment of vulnerability and open heart, the depth of excitement and love that CAN BE... Universe continues to guide me now that these people are no longer in my life. I wish them well, wish to overcome my imbalances to see them again, smiling. Smiling for us all. It may never be in this life. Forgiveness is MUST in my life. So what if I place them back on pedestal... They are my friends. Even if we don't see each other this way now... I am not going to try another conventional relationship with any of them.. But I may still place the love I felt once in my heart for them back on the pedestal, place God there. These attractions are OK. And the Universe will guide me... Even if the Universe knows it is simply a lesson... A lesson to the TRUE Beloved.... Guiding me, teasing me, waking me up! I had a dream I had met my many wives(at least 7, 3 or 4 of which were meaningful connections)... Maybe they are somehow connected to this dream, these lessons... I am beginning to see YOU O Beloved, at the end of thy Journey... Still, beckoning me, hidden behind another! My Dear God, guiding me with your unspoken language acknowledging my inner world and yet you still play with me... We are getting closer Dear!
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