to build a home

[guest88]

i first heard this, before my meeting jessica, and it touched something so deep that i thought... i will make a nice home.
then i met jessica and we eventually separated. i forgot about that place i had touched within. recently i had an experience reminiscent of love though it was only a shadow of the real thing. but it ended with me explaining to the woman that i hope to make a nice home for all the butterfly souls i will encounter. seems i forget, and then, i come back to this place- and remember, a greater desire.
and i don't have to forget, but i have to accept... i hope to transform, my house- so i may be present, in the moment, always in love, always responding from love and giving because i am in this feeling. i know it's possible... and i know i have to empty myself too... i have to clean my house in order to be in this state, which at times is forced, because i am trying to create the space... so what if it's forced... ? we have to let go of the self, if we want to be in this state, and i know it is possible...
so... i hope to start cleaning again... and i hope to feel, free, with an encompassing soul, that even others may call home

[guest88]

lyrics...
There is a house built out of stone
Wooden floors, walls and window sills
Tables and chairs worn by all of the dust
This is a place where I don't feel alone
This is a place where I feel at home

'Cause, I built a home
For you
For me

Until it disappeared
From me
From you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust

Out in the garden where we planted the seeds
There is a tree as old as me
Branches were sewn by the color of green
Ground had arose and passed it's knees

By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top
I climbed the tree to see the world
When the gusts came around to blow me down
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me

And, I built a home
For you
For me

Until it disappeared
From me
From you

And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust

[Jitendra Hy-do-u-no-us?]

Thanks for letting us in on your personal reflections. I think we all feel our responses are forced when they do not come naturally. It is a common feeling that I have felt with others and with my own ‘efforts’. Notice I draw attention to the word efforts. Because they are initially efforts. Love is partially, if not mostly, wanting to be loved. Sometimes natural and spontaneous responses are not forthcoming and we have to make some personal effort to heal wounds if it is possible and to have more natural outpourings in the future. Many of our initiatives may be rejected and we may find that we get rejected or we lack the natural ability to attract what we would like. Hmm not saying I have the answers just hoping to find solutions together and to let you know you are not the only one who has such feelings. Longing for that special place where dreams and experiences are true and we go to where we once were and once new.