Every day is a battle. Some days we are so content with our progress, we embrace our failure without recognizing it. 26 days have passed since my Birthday, where my goals should have been met. I have not achieved everything I've wished to by this time. I will never give up. Some days, I don't even know what day it is! My efforts have increased, as have the resisting forces that keep me away from my goals(Goals like stillness). The resisting forces are not some demonic entity, it is in reality a great restlessness. Last night I had the opportunity to meditate but my mind said, "You are tired. Here, have a seat- watch TV. See how easily agitated you are? Here, eat some food for comfort. Don't worry about exercise tonight." I know the peace meditation brings so it bewilders me, how these old patterns persist! It is important to keep going, even when the mind is fatigued, don't stop! No... Look at it like this... When you are so restless you would rather do ANYTHING except meditate- Consider that there are forces keeping you away from a Glorious Revelation- A Grand Realization... Recognize that fatigue is because these outdated structures are beginning to Crumble! Don't strengthen their foundation!! This is really a note for myself when restlessness pervades and I can not sit still. I won't stop trying to break free... Persistence is key, with recognition some days are better than others. ~
Most of it is the presence of latent desire that makes the consciousness ever static with restless percolating desires. The more we experience peace, love and bliss in meditation...the more we resolve to persist. That is why the company we keep and the circumstances we choose are so important. Allow time alone in nature if you are unable to find others in your area who are receptive to meditation. Our minds are often more clear after these temporary breaks from the physical demands of this dimension.
